Ahh this chapter... oh my god, so much love for this chapter! I can't decide if I'm heartbroken or elated. You really captured Hyde leaving well. I love you and this chapter!

The word is nonchalance. The writing's been great so far, but maybe you could leave questions like that till the end of the chapter, because it disrupted the flow of the writing a little. But good story so far.

Tuppence

Oh wow! Evil (though slightly predictable there but in a good way) ending of the story! I'll have to go check your author's page out to find the rest!

Bad Hyde! Bad, bad Hyde! *shakes fist at him*

That is all! (Great, fantastic chapter though!)

I...have officially died of laughter. Fez's continual revelations in that chapter are FANTASTIC! First him expecting candy to be there five years later (I love how you described him 'pawing' through the cupboards) and then that he got married and has a son! Lol Great work!

Now I know you said that this chapter wasn't your best but I think it was just fine! It was a great filler chapter! :D

Excellent job on keeping the story realistic by not having a reconciliation immediately. Hyde's being very mature about this without unnecessary drama, so that I definitely like about this story. Additionally I like how it was Mrs. Forman who got Davey thinking about his 'daddy' without meaning to, and how nonchalant the kid was about it (shockingly kids can be like that if they are young enough and you executed that wonderfully). Loving this story! The only constructive thing I can think of so far (I always try to leave something constructive b/c I love constructive critiques myself) is that its moving verrrry fast - the story itself. This is good in one respect, because it keeps it moving and the reader is never in danger of getting bored (though your writing style and plot would prevent them from happening period!) but on the other hand the reader is left craving for more details and to have the emotions of the characters described just a little more. So this story is fantastic, and the only thing I could constructively suggest is just a smidgeon more detail. Asides from that it rocks!

Perfect job of having everyone dance around the subject around little Davey, and I love that you had them all respect the fact that he is a kid! Real adults dance around topics around little kids, and your characters here did exactly that, so great work! :)

Now I just can't wait to see what happens when Hyde gets back!

Wow! Just WOW! Excellent beginning chapter. I like how you kept it true to the series up until the point where you thought diverging from it would be good, and you picked a GREAT point to send the story off into the AU category! In short, I love the spot you picked to change in the series and run wild with a fanfiction based off of it. Most pregnancy/child stories I do not like - like at all! - but this one so far I really like it! You have done a great job of it and I realllllly like that you haven't made it overly dramatic super quickly (you know like with Jackie sobbing her eyes out in paragraph 2!) and I like that you had it start several years later rather than immediately afterwards. If I could rate this would be 10/10 so great job! :)

i cannot believe that ending! worst cliffhanger! im just glad you've already written the sequel and i dont have to wait for updates!

My Favorite story :)

fantastic story, definately makes you want to read the sequel which i am going to go and do now.

Dun dun DUN! That. was. AWESOME! I love that cliffhanger! And haha I loved how Fez didn't tell anyone that he had a wife and kid till 3 years later hahaha! I can't wait to read the sequel!

Jackie and Hyde FOREVER!

Best Wishes,

FuzzySlipper19

aw, how sweet

Intersting... interesting... update soon! I liked how they remain friends and thier one romantic night. I also found it interesting that hyde is STILL leaving...