Another tip for your future writing work: Stop talking to your readers. Put your "author's notes" or other comments at the END of the chapter, and keep them BRIEF.

Putting author's notes in the middle of the story, interrupting the story to tell the reader why you wrote this or that scene this or that way or why Episode 1234 never happened, is exactly like a film director at a huge Hollywood movie premiere having the theatre pause the movie every few minutes so he can do running commentary during the film.

Also, we don't NEED to know most of the info you're inserting into the middle of the story. If you're not working it INTO the story itself, it's irrelevant.

The only other tip I can recommend (beyond my previous ones regarding numbers-as-words and the overuse of abbreviations) is to add dialogue. Lots of it.

This is a good (and really frakkin' LONG) description of an interesting AU story. However, even as good as it is, it's not a fanfiction: It's a fansummary.

This is quite possibly the longest summary I've ever read. I'd love to read the actual story sometime.

You have a disturbingly disappointing number of abbreviations and acronyms in this work that you really need to spell out. Acronyms are only allowable when it's also used as a proper noun. The "narrator" (for lack of a better word) is not allowed to abbreviate.

DEs, SH, SC, A-energy, etc. Things like this must be written out. It's another of those Literary laws.

Another tip: You cannot use numbers in place of words. This is a literary rule that cannot be disregarded.

"when they were 17", "3 witches", and "4 females" are some examples. You need to spell out the actual words.

Just a few ttips about your dialogue:

1. Not every sentence needs quotation marks. If it's the same character speaking, marks are only needed at the beginning and end of a paragraph.
2. When the character speaking changes, start a new paragraph.

The reason I say this is that your dialogue "paragraphs" are extremely hard to follow. Determining who's actually speaking is somewhat difficult when all the dialogue is bunched up like that.

Well written, good fic thus far. Just that dialogue problem causes any major difficulty.

"AN: I am making the Ori ships more powerful in this story because they were on an equal level with the Alterans. The Alterans were millions of years old. They were so old and knowledgeable that the Asgard studied 15% of their repository"

While I agree I think you are forgetting a couple very important things we learned between the show and the Arc of Truth movie. The original split came because the ori hated technology and preferred spirituality and the priors destroyed any old technology the came across. So i doubt they continued developing technology until they ascended. We can only guess that it was after they ascended that they knew how to build stargates and rings so that their priors could go out among the different Human worlds.

Regardless I still like the story and wouldn't mind seeing it continued or expanded sometime.

Good story man, I'm hooked so far, even though things are going TOO well. Why not have stuff going wrong? It's not Super Harry per sé but with the rate things are going...

Hilarious! A great read!

Good Story.

enjoyed the story, wonders if children would be a possibility, or if stargate universe would have any possibility here, bye

very good story although i think it was a bit rushed, other than that kusos for one of the few sg/hp that i could read till the end without getting too bored.

Wow. I have to say that I have not come across another story quite like this one before! I enjoyed it quite a bit, even if it could have benefitted from more dialogue in my opinion. Regardless, congratulations on quite an accomplishment! It really is an entertaining story.

great story

You know, I really enjoyed reading the story, but your story is incredible rushed. You pause at the times you wish to expand the story, with background and such but for the rest you keep rushing the general storyline. I'm unsure if you do it on purpose, or if you just wanted to get the boring parts over with.

Since you designated this story as complete, I'm hoping that the next chapters won't be as rushed. Also, the short cuts for words you are using is getting confusing.

I recommend mentioning the short cuts words at the bottom of the chapter every two to three chapters or so. Just to remind the reader what this or that shortcut means.

Kingdark
aka
Keny

The concept was interesting, and the first chapter decent, but you took a plunge after that. The story is to overpowered and "chunky" (as opposed to smoothly flowing) to be serious, but not funny enough to be a crackfic. The biggest problem is one that many who attempt Super- or God-Harry do; listing. Those goddamned, awful lists! They ruin so much... There is also the whole super-powered-thingamajig. That's okay if you can provide a good reasoning, or suitable "development", but pulling them out of the wazoo... Yeah. Again, the story doesn't flow as smoothly as it should. Also, you need to write out everyday stuff, the boring things that make the exciting parts even more exciting.

Still, al things considered, I like super-powered stories. If your next attempt is better (or preferrably, a rewrite of this) I might just look it up. I've read worse, far, far worse...
#Shudder#

Tonks came in first for her year which she correctly contributed to Harry and Hermione’s help.

It should be attributed. Other than that...so far, so good