Oh my good!

omg so sad, but intriguing and well written

You really gave a different POV of Edward from James' POV, what a true to character vampire would see him as. He was certainly weak in this situation compared to his dominance with Bella.

This may be the the craziest shit I have read! I LOVE IT! Don't know how I found it... But love it!

Jane

I loved Carlisle's POV and the explanation for his turning and Esme's leaving. I'm surprised that Carlisle could let her go - but I guess that he's showing doing it for the greater good.

Good story, good writing.

i don't have to have canon vampires. i think yours are quite interesting. i'm still trying to figure out what all makes them unique. it's kind of sad that i'll never meet jasper, emmett, or rosalie in your story. but you haven't mentioned alice yet, so i'm still holding on to some hope. what happened between carlisle and esme is really sad, but it's better than what i was guessing...which is that somehow james would have fed her to carlisle right as he was completing the change. i guess there was no way esme would have wanted to become like them, even though she clearly loved edward like he was her own child. that's too bad.

Holy Hannah! What a spin on the story. Edward is the one helping Carlisle in his change. He is the teacher. Love it. Thanks for the words.

That was so sad! Poor Carlisle :(

Oh poor Carlisle! This one hurt my heart!

Ok, this chapter at least answered part of one of my questions. Edward does age, but will he stop one day?

Great chapter! So much information regarding these vampires. I feel for Carlisle:( Well written

That was fascinating! I really like the story you've created for our vamps here. Very creative and well thought out!

Wow. This story is really interesting & the chapter is informative. Me like. Love!

Wow...I think I am going to be saying that a lot, LOL.

This story is just so amazing.

I am so glad you put this chapter in where you did, as it did two things for me: first, it gave some really necessary back- story and second/simultaneously, made me want to read more of your story. I think you did a great job with this chapter!

well that was disturbing. HA!

love this story so far... I am on to chap 5 now.

WOW! You're fantastic ... The story is incredible.

I loved the plot. The way you is developing a vampire. "More human," but still supernatural.

Carlisle ... Poor Carlisle. Need someone who accepts and loves him.

Differing POVs bring so much more to a story, so I personally like them.

oh noes! how sad for carlisle! poor esme! is there hope for another for him?

Esme really loved him.

I can't fathom the pain Esme felt watching Carlisle regress into a violent shadow of himself.

That was a phenominal chapter. The alternate universe you have designed really works.

Interesting choice that Carlisle made; seeing James and Victoris should have alerted him to their evil ways. He must have realised that other vampires weren't controlled like Edward had been.

This is such an amazing story! You have a quiet, insisting intensity to your writing that is quite breathtaking! I am totally in addicted!

WOW, Carlisle's backstory was searing! And yes, it explains so much.

Poor Esme.

This is a very good story. Very intense and passionate, but also very sad. I see that you haven't updated in several months, and I almost didn't start it, but the description intrigued me. I like it very much.

still a bit confused , but very interested

this is a unique twist on vampires. i like that so far your story is well developed. it doesn't seem rushed like so many i have read. it doesn't seem immature. i am not a writer but i know a good author when i read their work and so far i am impressed with you.

This is certainly a very grand entrance for your first fan fic. Dark and enthralling with a strong storyline. I'm seeing improvements from Chapter 1. I'm reading..its got me by the throat. ;p

This is powerful writing. As much as the subject matter is uncomfortable- it explores a whole other aspect of sensation and emotion that would not be possible without your unique story line. It's like using all of the colours of the rainbow and black.

xox

songirl

so esme is still alive, she just left him, right?

That was so beautiful. I love Carlisle... he can possess me any time he wants.

so why didn't Carlisle just make Esme a vampire too? then she would have the same urges as he...

WOW. I absolutely LOVE this chapter. Really. Seriously. Hard.

I wasn't expecting this story to get so ... deep or sci-fi-ey. I love your idea of a vampire, it's so original and just so very different from any other vampire story I've ever heard. And your portrail of Carlisle is excellent. I felt like you really captured his character and reading this chapter felt like what the inside of Carlisle's mind SHOULD sound like. I don't know if that makes sense. Basically, I DIG IT.

You done good.

You rocked my socks.

I'm so glad I found this story!

Thanks so much for sharing,

H

god the back story rocks!

this is the best AU iv ever read!

xoxox

I really love the relationship between Edward and Bella, but this bit from Carlisle was quite insightful. I really enjoyed the honesty portrayed throughout all that he ordained. Very well done. And the uniqueness of your story is so enthralling to read.

Dx I can't remember exactly which chapter it was in anymore, but I am in { } with the line "You're a monster. To know you is to loath you." -That is some srsly good writing! But anyhoo, I am so attachehed to that qoute. I wanna take a sharpie and write it on my walls. Your writing is just..incredible. (:

With every ff story I read, I wonder if there will ever be a _ward that isn't completely awesome. I had thought that if I ever found one who killed kittens, I'd draw the line.

I started reading this story this morning and I'm taking it as a sign. Edward drinking from a pet, but stopping with no harm done to the dog, made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Now I must get back to reading because the Monster is pretty fucking hot!

Very sad backstory with Esme and Carlisle but I loved this chapter!

Wow - what a great chapter. I really liked Carlisle and Edward's backstory here. At first, when it described Edward's early traits and his discovery at the murder scene, as well as Carlisle's attempts to study and steer him it reminded me a LOT of Dexter (a good thing), but then took a surprising turn with Carlisle's choice. I *liked* this. Many of us *would* choose the same if given the option I think, even though it cost him dearly in terms of Esme - and it's true, the inability to be tender would be a problem. The story keeps me guessing and it's well-crafted. Thanks for sharing!

I AM surprised, and confused... but more than anything I'm intrigued. I never expected anything like this, and I'm still curious to know the facts surrounding these vampires. They are not eternal?

So Esme left him, I wonder why he didn't just turn her? Hmm well that explains why he is the way he is and tried to warn Edward..

this was an incredible chapter-so different from anything that I have read-really well done

Very interesting backstory. You've created a unique vampire world.

Tasted any good pets lately? LMAO.

This chapter was excellent. It gave all the background we needed to understand Edward and Carslisle better. Poor Carlisle, out chopping wood (another great image!) and trying to control his base urges. Really, really good work on this chapter, I loved it.

It's intersting to learn about Edward's childhood through Carlisle's POV. His own story is also engrossing and perhaps would he finally get some soothing later ?

Amazingly well-written! Fascinating.

I just started this fic today. I received the rec from Jo over on the PPSS site. I feel terrible because this is my first review. I have to tell you though as much I enjoyed the first three chapters, this one stands out to me the most. Carlisle's tale was both dark and sensual. It also showed a different take on the emotional component of the transformation from human to vampire that is missing from a lot of other fics.

I know I'm probably not making much sense but just know that I am really enjoying this so far and Carlisle is deliciously dark.

i really like all these new rules. they're more interesting. and i feel more compelled to read more when i have no idea what to expect.

although i'm unsure about how edward became a vampire. he must have been bitten when he was a child.

About the posting schedule, well I'm sorta already addicted to your story and I wanna know when I can get my next fix...I know, I know greatness cannot be rushed, just hoping it's son! Your story is everything the girls at Darkward's Dungeon pimped it out to be they glorified chapter 4 and all I can say is WOW, I have yet to see Carlise portrayed in this manner, he so tortured, and Mr. Darcy and Mr. Hyde - hawt shiz! I stayed up all night reading your - I'm exhausted, but it was definetly worth it.

oh "to know you is to loathe you"

poor Carlisle

this really is amazing writing. I love how different it is to the usual dark side of fanfic. It's brilliant story telling and I'm dying to read on and on!

such sadness... from the loss of Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett before they can ever be to the loss of Esme's love.

I adored this chapter.

1. Again, POV change!

2. It was long. I love longer chapters. *happy dance*

3. It was so sad! But it made me understand Carlisle's bastard-y-ness before, and that helped. Poor Carlisle...*sniff*

4. Esme's note was beautifully done. Pain and hurt and love and just...perfect. Include more chapters like that!

This chapter has been a turning point for me. On the whole it seemed a lot better paced, with more depth and thoughtfulness. It almost stands alone like a one shot.

I love reading of other vampire mythologies and personally dislike the all encompassing perfection of SMeyers vampires. I liked that they are nearer to human, to the point that it might almost be considered a psychological condition and that the effects increased if the proportion of their nutrition that was blood increased. Also the explanation of the change in saliva/venom being affected by the mood, which also explains the euphoric effect it has on Bella if Edward bites her when he is aroused.

What I did not like was the explanation that the venom increased the mass of blood threefold. I know this is fantasy but that just defies one of the basic premises of our entire existence - the conservation of matter.

The whole scientific obsession that Carlisle had and his unacknowledged desire to become a vampire which eventual led to him losing the thing most dear to him is such an archetypal theme it is perfect for this story; very, very fitting.

I feel a lot more comfortable with this story as a vampire fic now,

Thank you for sharing.

Loved the back story - great way of relaying everything to us. I'm really adoring this whole different aspect to the characters.

Brilliant job

xx

WOW. Excellent look at them and their urges. Amazingly done!

Amazing. Simply amazing. Thought you should know.

OMG, LOVE this chapter. LOVE it. Dark Carlisle...yum. Great back story, how he wants Esme but drove her away after his change, his obsessive research, the different effects of the venom depending on state of mind/emotion. And Esme's response to Carlisle, knowing about Edward - that was awesome! This is so touching, you make them absolutely sympathetic characters.

That was so GREAT!

This was a great chapter. I really like the way you wrote Carlisle's POV. The tone sounded very much like him and his pain and heartache came across really well. Nicely done!

FUCKING FANT-TA-FREAKING-AB-ULOUS CHAPTER! I have no freaking idea how you wrote chapter 2 and then wrote THIS! The two cannot even be COMPARED!

Wow. I am truly floored. The background, Carlisle's character (I am now more understanding of his easy retreat in CH 2), the originality of their story, their lost children (*cries*), his waning relationship with Esme, and Edward as a boy! Like WHOA! The scene of him in the kitchen with the dog. My God that was so freaking perfect and visual and disturbing and heartwrenching and...his remark as he walked out! . . ! My mouth was totally agape. I don't think I have ever, EVER 'felt' Edward before, as much as I did in this chapter. Here I was complaining about your characterizations! PSSHAWW!

I know I'm getting a little carried away here, but I am truly and mind-bogglingly BLOWN AWAY.

And JAMES! .God! His encounter with Carlisle and Edward, his predatory demeanor and learned disposition, and his words! WOW, the dialogue you gave him was just A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. I actually found myself mouthing his lines as if to act them out...THAT is how deeply I felt his character! Sinister to say the least!

And your vampire creations are MAGNIFICENT! Truly, so very unexpected, refreshing and .ORIGINAL! My God woman, where the freakin have you been hiding! Carlisle's change was so very, very cataclysmic and yet still rhetorical in it's nature. It had to be done, but what a way to make it happen! Talk about AU!

And your imagery was so very beautiful and powerful, I actually longed for more of it. The items you chose to highlight from Carlisle's new POV were just...breathtaking...vibrations in the earth, fingerprints on the corpse. So very un-cliched! Wow. I seriously cannot say WOW enough. If I had to ever rec a single chapter, out of everything I have EVER read on fanfiction...I do believe this would be it. No freaking joke.

The break between Carlisle and Esme was so very well done. It was forebode (especially with the realization as to the sexual nature of vampires) but the solemnity, the understanding, the deep, sincere, & unending LOSS... I've got nothing really, just no words. SO well done.

And to think, I was just criticizing you! WTF?

XOXO

JO

P.S. I seriously have not been this freaking giddy over a chapter in AGES!

Poor sweet Carlisle - maybe Bella can teach him a thing or two...

Hands down the best chapter you've written so far!

So many of my questions were answered and yet it left me with one really big question...Was Edward born a Vampire and if so how?

James said, "He could be a king in this forest, stronger than any of the animals, if he just left behind your tiny, sniveling world." I don't know if you meant to go anywhere with this but with this one sentence you could go a long way. Bare with me for a minute but lets say Edward was born a Vampire and the people who were killed were not his biological parents. His real parents are both Vampires and not just any Vamps but royalty who had to hide their son and only heir while they were being overthrown.

Just something I thought I would throw out there for ya;-)

Anywho, GREAT chapter...loved the history of how Carlisle became a Vamp by none other than James! Sad how things turned-out for him and Esme but I can see how that side of him would not go over well with Esme's character.

This is a great story... I love what you have done with it so far!

That was an interesting look into Carlisles head!

WOW! Your story is so well written. It has me totally engrossed...can't wait for more.

This chapter was perfect I understand the other stuff a lot better now. Your writing is so addictive.. cant wait for more :)

i love it!