Wow. Good story.

I like when you made God praise Keichi. It should be like God made Keichi as a half-angel.

This story is one of my favs. I have it on my palm pilot and read it from time to time. Sure it is kinda Waffy but I get a smile from reading it each time. Thank you very much for writing it.

Interesting...While I don't think Kami-sama is keen on humor and laughing, I can accept that because you can write for him well (some authors make him look like a complete moron and make him say things that are just rediculous for his persona). I liked how you characterized Keiichi, you seem to have gotten him down pat as well.

The only thing you may want to do in the future is make sure little things like the glitch with the whole megumi going out with the goddesses and later being found at the mall with them... it just doesn't seem to make sense that she's found at the mall by the goddesses when she went with them in the first place...

other than that I can't seem to complain...well written, and I wish you the best of luck in your other writing endeavors

Bravo!

Oldspice

Very nice story. I like how you realy caputred how he would react to the phone call.

A little rough around the edges, a little too much tell instead of show, but surprizingly powerful for all that. I think with a little polishing you could have a magnificent gem here.

A direct phone call from God, now there's a test of one's mettle. :) And not just the *character's* mettle either. A daring subject for any author--personally I'd think long and hard before trying it!

A fine read, thought provoking and true to the spirit of the show. Well done.

The part with "Ex the goddess" is really fun.
Sounds somehow pretty realistic. (^_^)
Altogether its a great story.

Keep it up.

Hey

Great story, I love the dialogue between Keeichi and Kami-Sama.

Nicely done ;)

About the only thing that bugs me is that at the start of the story, Keiichi is alone because Belldandy, Urd and Skuld have gone out shopping with Megumi, but at the end of the story, you have Belldandy say that they ran into Megumi at the market and invited her over for dinner. Mutually exclusive actions and it should take you only a couple minutes to spackle over that little hole.

Having received a few quality assurance calls in my day, I thought that part of the story was quite funny. The Kami-sama would be the supervisor in question makes sense and compared to the recent rash of OMG stories that have been featuring him in the villain's role, his presence and actions felt far truer to the character as presented by Fujishima than I've seen in quite some time.

I liked it. It was a nice, pleasant story. There aren't enough of those in this fandom.

I like your story, let' see where it goes.