   Born4Glory
2003-07-31 . chapter 1Everyone, welcome to the official inaugural instalment of “Flaming the MoonMonkeys”! I know, if there’s one thing me and you jackasses have in common, it’s the inability to quickly come up with an original and imaginative title. So until I come up with something clever to my new show of sorts, which I soon will, this is what it’s going to be. Now, lets get started!
“learning to trust”
Three words into the story and things are already looking down, as it appears no capital letters have made it this far. Not that I can blame them for not wanting to be associated with this story. This chapter is just a single, short paragraph, so lets just jump in and get it over with so I can go and have a stiff drink. The capital letters are probably saving me a seat at the bar.
“She grew up alone. Sure she had a family, but they were never together. Her dad was always away killing this culture or that,”
Killing a culture huh? I wonder how that works…
“trying to get revenge on someone she wasn't sure of”
I wouldn’t be surprised if you were high on his hit list for writing this damn story.
”She had a mom but her mom seemed afraid of her dad and never talked much, never yelling at her dad for the way he treated her,”
She shouldn’t hold back, really. Shortly before almost giving up, three lines into the story, I yelled and trust me, it helped reduce the pain of reading this garbage.
“always home only to train her, as if, if she was some person that only exsisted because her father needed someone to follow on his legancy or something.”
If this story is any indication, he sure as hell isn’t doing a very good job. It’s also safe to say he won’t have much of a “legancy”, whatever the hell that is…
“She knew that her father wanted a son and got her instead, he even told her to her face, but he would sigh and say, 'i guess you're the best I can do with.' And then he would train her, never complemented her…”
[Insert tragic, incompetently told tale here]
“What does visiting someone named Kakkorot do really? She didn't know, but something inside her said it was the right thing to do.”
As if it were actually possible, things go even further downhill from here. You see, there’s this horrible Mary Sue named Makoto, who bears no resemblance to the Makoto you MoonMonkeys might know from the crappy show called sailormoon. She seems to have a serious inferiority complex and a knack for coming up with keenly crafted, imaginative nicknames for whoever she sees fit (“idiot boy”, for instance… I’m not kidding, she really nicknamed Trunks “idiot boy”. Well, until the pheromones took over, anyway).
“*angel!*- so how do you all like it? it's just some little thing that I wrote really fast. I wanna know if anyone is interested in reading it.”
On behalf of every intelligent user who frequently visits this section (I know, we’re a minority), I would like to say “NOT A CHANCE!”
And I have officially completed the dissection of the first chapter! What does the mighty Born4Glory have in store next for this young, albeit equally inept authoress? Probably not much. I’m afraid that any more bad fiction of this caliber will finish me off entirely. Please, oh please make it stop! Oh, and even though I don’t recommend it, if you have a penchant for masochism, you can read the sideshow (the fic), if you want.
--Born4Glory-- |
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