beautiful writing! i read this in one sitting - through the night - though i really ought to be in bed. first, you created a plausible storyline that fits in the original mentalist universe, but simultaneously managed to really put lisbon and jane through something entirely unique. you changed their relationship through the course of this story without making them completely OOC. but perhaps most impressively, you stayed firmly away from many of the potential pitfalls that were around you everywhere (falling in love as they're pretending to make love, cho bursting in to save lisbon just in time, etc). i was almost angry with you for putting teresa through something that traumatic, certainly angry with cho for not getting there earlier. your writing pulled those emotions out of me. there is so much angst in this story, yet you still managed a happy ending. my only critique would be that jane is possibly a little too perfect - to my eye, he's more broken than the jane here, who approaches lisbon at the end of this story with a love that is nearly perfect in its generosity and selflessness. and yet, this is a story more about lisbon than it is about jane, and i wonder if you could have wrapped it up so nicely (without doubling the length of it) if you hadn't made him that way.
my only real beef with you is that you've written far too few mentalist pieces, and i don't watch your other shows. :)
oh, and while i'm still here, i very much appreciate the fact that you didn't write a sex scene between them. i agree with your assessment that what they've been through is already so much more. but as someone who just enjoys reading, i also have to say that they're very hard to write well, and there's often little point in reading bad literary porn.

AWW! Seriously, this fic had a knot in my throat, had me bouncing on my chair and covering my mouth with my hand -it's really late- waay too many times. And omg. OMG this last chapter.. I mean.. there have been quite a few key moments on a lot of chapters, but I didn't see this one coming. Jane proposing. It makes it even more sweet that they hadn't make love beforehand. And everything about this fanfic is just great. I loved Lisbon's line about him having to stop making her cry, as well as the whole confession of Jane, the rain, the wine, the embrace.
And of course, I couldn't left out that particular scene with the bathroom.. me being a fluffy/waffy shipper of Jisbon.. it was priceless. As well as the fanfic as a whole, I mean.. at first I was kinda mad at you for making Lisbon a dirty cop, although I had this suspicion that it wouldn't be that way, so I kept reading to discover a rather complicated story as the background. I really admire writers that have it in them to write this complex stories with a lot of characters and background -that sometimes they're not even familiar with, but do their research- like this one.
I think that all of the characters where extremely IC, considering the circumstances. Although angsty, I also enjoyed the first rough talk that Jane had with Lisbon, I mean.. it wasn't just about him kissing her and her giving in. She was actually really pissed and broken, and it showed.
I can't deny that I'd have liked a little more romance in some parts, but I can't say they're really missing. It's like on the show, like they give you tiny bits of fluff of flirting you tend to value and cherish those moments even more. Although in here, I was really glad that this one ended up on one chapter dedicated to them, I feared that was like some stories -in all fandoms- that during all the story the couple (or the characters) have been suffering and at the end ok, so they get together or get alright, but it's just a paragraph long... so you don't get to smile enough to overpower the know in your throat that has been there for too long.
I was clapping my hands together and squeaking, honestly, when reading the proposal scene (and going 'aww' several times, as well as the confession part).
The fact that all of her team and Minelli cared that much about her was clearly shown, and I also liked Lee. Weird for me that I don't normally like OC's. This one had a character, and she specially won me over with the "that's my girl" line when they were observing the obnoxious fbi agent verbally assault Lisbon.

Ook so I wrote a lot.. hopefully you don't mind, hehe!
Cookies -with chocolate milk- for you. You deserve them. I hope you write more about them in the future, good luck in all your projects :)!

I just wanted to say thanks for the fantastic story. I'm now on my way to reading all your rest, and the ones you've recommended, because I now completely trust your taste.

This story really caught my attention...awesome job so far! :)

what does Éirinn go Brách mean?

Wow, great story, I just read it in one go (well, I slept inbetween, but I read untill I fell asleep and continued reading after waking up and getting some water...), really well written, impressing plot and sweet fluff!
thanks for writing and sharing,
Lie

Loved it!
xxRosaxx

Wow, I don't even really know where to start with this. Phenomenal job on this story. Great plotting and unique premise. Your characterization is spot-on for Jane and the rest of the supporting players and your version of Lisbon is believable and intriguing. I read this almost all in one sitting, it had me riveted.

Your careful pacing and attention to detail in your writing is much appreciated by this editor :) An excellent story that I look forward to reading again sometime.

Oh, and great choice of music in the last chapter. Two of my favourite pieces.

I know you wrote this story a while ago, but I just discovered it today, and I loved it. I don't have a lot to say, except that you made my day so much better with this story. It's real emotions - I don't know if it's exactly the ones they would be feeling in this case (since they're fictional and not mine) but very real. I love that. And the proposal at the end, the fact that he was willing to take a risk like that ... it was so romantic and sweet. Thank you for sharing this story, and your gift of writing, with all of us.

I absolutely loved this. I can tell you really thought out what you wanted with this story. Extremely well written. I can't wait to see more of your stuff.
Elodie~

This was amazing! I stumbled across it by accident and read the whole thing. I loved it, beginning to end. Great work.

That was amazing, I incredibly enjoyed this story! Thanks for writing :)

I absolutely loved this story. It's kept me glued to the screen, I couldn't stop reading before I finished it.

Seriously - tonight it was a choice between finally watching the season finale or finish reading this story, and I had to put off the finale because I first needed to know how this story was going to end.

One thing - while I loved the proposal and the way she accepted it, I don't think it was absolutely necessary to have him ask her to marry him. The story would have been great even without the final chapter. Maybe that was a bit over the top fluff, considering the darker tone of the rest of the story.

Then again, I love fluff and I needed them to be blissfully happy in the end, just because they went through so much before that.
I also love how you focused on Teresa so much. I find that often people spend so much time dealing with Jane's past and his pain that they neglect Lisbon. It happens on the show, too (there really only was this one great scene with Lisbon falling down the stairs that showed her pain) - so I really enjoyed the insight on her character. You wrote her beautifully. I suffered with her the entire time, her pain seemed terribly real.

I can't wait to read more from you. You have an amazingly vivid style of writing. It's almost like watching a movie, I could picture the scenes perfectly while reading - especially the one with Jane watching Lisbon in the interrogation room, and the thunderstorm.

I really do hope you'll keep writing Mentalist fics. If you ever do try NCIS, I'll be among the first reading that as well, but I can see how NCIS might be more difficult to write than the Mentalist. If I were to give it a try, I'd feel more comfortable with the Mentalist as well.

I'm digressing here, so I'll just say, again, that I really loved this story and enjoyed every minute of reading it. It was a great plot, beautifully written, with very, very believable characters. Just perfect. Thank you!

This story was truly well written and thought through. I really enjoyed reading it. You are very talented. Thanks for sharing.

Amazingamazingamazingamazing! I was truly terrified for Lisbon in some places and you have and incredible knack for capturing terror and romance! Amazing plot! Slightly disturbed where you may have come up with it though... ;)
XOXO