What an incredibly sad and fantastically beautiful piece of writing. This was such a painful read (because of the subject matter, not because of your writing!) and the end was so lovely and wonderful. Thank you for this, Zae.

I also just want to say that, thus far, your ST:2009 fics are WAAAYY less vague than your NCIS ones. I can actually decipher the ST fics the first read through! It appears you have gotten more vague as time has gone on. Not that I mind, though. I still love you!

Meditation is such a cornerstone of the Vulcan psyche and you approach it beautifully here. I love the moment of character insight, "So many discoveries awaited his inquisitive mind that shutting his eyes to the world felt like punishment". Spock has always been defined by his curiosity. I can easily imagine Spock's initial difficulty with this practice that he now finds essential to his equilibrium. It is very telling that he again has difficulty with it here.

And then you move into a moment of spiritual sexuality or ecstatic consciousness so fluidly. Very well done.

I keep coming back to this story. It's very subtle. It makes me vaguely nervous somehow, though. I think it's the dark language sprinkled in-genocide; chaos; tainted; abomination; frustration; volatile. Then you partner those with words like sweet, pure, peace; warmth; cure. It's jolting. Like Spock is going to lose himself. He wants her too much or she's taking too much from him.

Maybe that's a good thing. Write more. Help me decide.

Beautiful imagery! Please write more.

Oh... you should seriously have a "do not read at work" warning on that one.

Absolutely beautifully done.

nice, good work!

"He closes his eyes and gains the whole of knowledge." That was very moving.

It is beautiful that Uhura can calm him when his meditation fails him. Her love is the balm for his pain.

Terrific job. Can't wait to see more.

Everything you write makes me want to bawl. In the good way. This was so gorgeous and painful and desperate and wild. Thank you for writing this. Please continue writing more Star Trek!

By the way, you're terribly inspiring. I wish I could write as well as you.

Never lecture the muse, especially when it helps you to write something as good as this.

Honestly, I had to read this several times before it finally settled in my brain (This is probably due to the fact that in the next room over, my sister is watching That 70's Show and is slightly distracting.). I'm not sure what aspect I like best about this fic. The word choice elicits very strong emotions and images. "a feather on his shoulder" was striking. Also, the lack of dialogue makes this even stronger.

I'm so glad your muse took you in a different direction. lol

I loved the whole description of his meditation and emotions, and the idea of a persistent Uhura to ease Spock's mind. Great work.

Nice...

oh. just...oh. lovely, lovely job.

Beautifully and tastefully written! I've added this to my C2, "Oh, for the love of Spock."

*speechless*

Oh... my dear, I know I normally have a thoughtful comment for you.. but truly this is just.. oh wow...

Ooh. Interesting...

I seriously don't know where these ideas come from; I would never have thought to write a fic from the POV of a meditating Spock. I loved the way you described the meditative state (the "false doors") and so on. Great job, well done.

HoVis