Great job on this, but I expect them from both of you. I loved Sousuke and heero conrolling themselves in the beginning of this chapter with their girls. It was sweet. I'm glad the couples were fine when they saw each other the next morning. And of course I liked when Heero said no one was going to hurt Relena as long as he's alive. Tessa knows now that Sousuke does have real feeings for Sousuke. I love Heero and Sousuke working together and protecting their girls. Now Kaname really knows who Relena is. Later I was glad that Heero went after Sousuke for Kaname. Like the thinking with the other head comment. Things are getting serious. I'm looking forward to the "Pursuit". Great job!

Dude! I'm so glad you finally updated! And a very nice chapter too. As always, I love the exchange b/w Tessa and Sousuke. I think it's great how you have her telling him HIS judgment is clouded due to his emotions...classic pot calling kettle black scenario. In addition, I'm glad that Kaname finally opened up to Sousuke. And Tessa taught her a way to block him out, but I now wonder if Relena is truly a Whispered. Guess time will tell. Well, good job and look forward to reading more, hopefully soon!

This is a crossover that has been waiting to be written! And you two are exceeding expectations, thank you very much. :) It's truly refreshing to read your fic!

A great chapter. Worth the wait. Look forward to reading more.

This is my first review for this fic but I wanted to say just how much I enjoy reading this. I'm a fan of both heero/relena and sousuke/kaname pairings and I have seen the resemblance in the characteristics of the boys. I love how they can be so protective and caring at the same time unyielding.

Duo's also a favorite character of mine so thank you for putting him in this fic. His character is just invaluable and I'm touched by how serious he gets every time Relena or any of his friens are in trouble.

I'll be keeping up with this fic! =)

Hey ladies...

I really liked this chapter! The introduction of another character; a threat not only to Kaname but his pick up of another Whispered (Relena) adds to the intrigue of this story. I continue to love the interactions between the couples; the dialogue just flows so well and makes for such an enjoyable read. The little slices of romance are always a nice touch; LOL that Sousuke and Kaname believe Heero and Relena to be more involved intimately than they really are when they themselves are thinking about it was too cute. The amusement park scene was very well written and I thought the karaoke scene was great. I didn't think it was cheesy at all and could well imagine the scene given your ability to provide the readers with descriptive and concise imagery. Loved that the guys got to show off more than their good looks and that their girls took notice; along with a bevy of other female fans. As usual you ended the chapter with a huge "What's gonna happen next?" that I can't wait to read. Another marvelous job ladies.

This chapter wasn't just about the first day of school. The two couples sharing of each other's lives continues to parallel and you both have allowed the reader to see just how similar the characters are to each other in personality as well. Nice to see that Sousuke and Heero are becoming acquainted and the bonds of trust that are beginning to form between them; the same for Kaname and Relena. Each giving the other glimpses into their past with admissions of personal fears.

Again the dialogue flowed with conversation that I could clearly imagine taking place. I loved this line 'Relena's voice was low but filled with hot lead.' Nice description of her feelings while she was angry with Heero; and urging an apology from him on top of it. The girl isn't as fragile as she appears. Just one of the similarities that I see between her and Kaname.

The ending left me on the edge as usual. The storm has managed to produce eerie reminders for both women; with both young men arriving in time to comfort them. Great read ladies. You're doing a magnificent job with this crossover. And GA, thanks for turning me on to FMP!

Ah that was great!
I really enjoy reading this and I didn't see the chapter fly.

Oh and when I first read the name of the scientist, I read Yamato, so I thought 'what the, they used characters from gundam seed too? Fun!' but well, it appeared than you didn't.

Anyway, that was fun nonetheless.
And I like the idea of Kira showing up in there. Sorry, that's just lame, but he's a very good engeneer so...

Ok I stop my rambling about that and just congratulate you two once more for your amazing job in this story.

Til next time!

Tidoo

That was awesome! I LOVE Sousuke's comeback at the end! You did a great job highlighting the similarities and an even better job showcasing the differences b/w the two couples. Keep the chapters comin'! And I dig the taste of action we got there! Race you to the chair! HA! ~LOL~

Woah~! Sousuke is **!

This is quite an interesting idea so far, and I'd like to see where you take it!
-Spel

Hey...great crossover. I personally don't mind some of the OOC and the touchy-feely moments. I mean, I too would like to see a couple halisen shots and a bit of action, but the "drama" as one reviewer put it is also canon. I like the romantic build up, and I think we were starting to see some of Sousuke's less otaku moments in TSR (think the conversation he had with Kaname when he was on the cell phone driving and how he looked at the end of the call...he seemed like a regular teenaged boy in hot water with his girl in those moments). But despite the awkwardness, Sousuke has become more comfortable with Kaname, and I can't see him being awkward around Heero who is a lot like him. In fact, perhaps the growth in his relationship with Kaname is giving him confidence. Also, although Heero and Sousuke are seeming a bit similar (not completely mind you...Sousuke wasn't initially rude to Heero, but you can imagine he would have been had roles been reversed), Kaname, although a tamer version of herself, is certainly stronger than Relena (protecting her from the kidnapper). Also, if Sousuke & Kaname show off their newfound affection at Mithril, that may be another point of difference to showcase between the two couples. Relena is certainly not likely to have any long time rivals show up at Melida Island, at least I hope not. That would seem very forced in the plotline to have more people from Gundam-verse just show up just to keep the couples in parallel. It would also seem forced if Tessa just sat back and accepted the budding relationship. Hey, that could get Sousuke to sweating bullets and babbling like an otaku if nothing else will! LOL! Well, I guess we'll just have to wait & see where you take us next. I hope more chapters are forthcoming with even more drama, a bit of action, and a swing or two from a certain paper fan(apologies to the likely targets...Heero and Sousuke).

Yay, a new chapter! So we're going to find out more about Relena's Whispered abilities, huh? Looking forward to it!

Hm... you've got a good premise here, and considering the level of your writing it certainly has potential. I have a few criticisms, though, which take away from my overall enjoyment of the story.

- I'm sure you've been told his before by now, but there are too many ellipses in various parts of the text. Not only are these technically grammatical flaws, they severely hinder the readability of your text in places. The last chapter showed improvement, but there were still places where they showed up in completely inappropriate places.

- Only partly because of the above, it is rather noticable where the work of one author ends and that of the other begins. I would suggest going over every chapter after you've put it together to make sure the writing style is consistent all throughout. Alter one another’s segments on the descriptive level so the writing styles match more closely, you know?

- You put a lot of emphasis on all the similarities between Heero/Relena and Chidori/Sousuke, but I must wonder if you’re not forgetting to assert their individuality? So far, they’ve felt disappointingly interchangable for two such vastly different couples. Which brings me to my next point:

- AU and a crossover this story might be, but nobody wants to read OOC characters. And unfortunately, all four of your mains have been OOC to a certain degree thus far.
Sagara is missing much of his heavily militaristic speech habits and the social awkwardness that sets him apart even in ordinary situations. The same goes for Kaname’s violent temper. Where did it go? I barely recognize her as Kaname Chidori without an outburst and a good smack of her fan every so often.
Heero, too, is rather more suave and sappy than in GW canon, where “I’m nothing compared to you.” was the greatest and most direct compliment he ever paid Relena. Two years of being constantly in each other’s company would naturally have more of an effect than the moments they could snatch during the eight months covered in GW. However, I think you must consider that if you change the fundementals of a couple’s dynamics so drastically, readers will miss the things that drew them to the couple and you might as well substitute it with a different couple alltogether.
Then Relena, whom canon dictates is fearless, passionate and strong. In your story she is... well, kind of a wimp. A damsel in distress, doing little to stand up for herself and always waiting for Heero to save her. Her recent condition should, of course, account for something, but it’s just too much. For a girl who unflinchingly stares down assassins, kidnappers and mobile suits alike in her own canon, your version of her is painfully clingy and easy to intimidate. Being so traumatized by a single incident that she suffers from full-blown panic attacks even two years later just feels completely unlike her.
(Also, being a great fan of Treize, I lament your recent description of him as “cold”. He was a passionate, philosophical man who ultimately put humanity and the beauty of its nature -however twisted his view of it at times - above all else. I do hope you’re not writing him as a man driven solely by self-centered ambitions.)

- Lastly, not so much a complaint as something you might want to watch out for; too detailed descriptions of clothing, including the dropping of lots of brand names, is something that’s looked at with somewhat of a wary eye in fanfiction circles. Especially when it’s done four times in a row, as in the latest chapter, and when the brands used may be (or appear to be) specific to certain locations but absent in others. It’s often associated with Mary Sues/self-inserts/wish fulfillment. And the karaoke scene was cute, but kind of tacky - see also my comments about OOCness and cardboard-copy couples.

That was a wall of text, but like I said, your basis is good and the story does show potential. I’ll keep reading for a while to see what happens, and what puts me off may not even register with other readers. It is by no means my intention to discourage you, I’m just offering you what little help I can give.

i'm getting tired of reading the 'woe is me' drama crap. i want some action and i want to see heero shiver in fear at the burst kanames angry and pure strength.

Whoo, another chapter! I love how you for bringing the coach back. XD