|Reviews for We'll Be Togther|
| Novemberscorpion 8/7/12 . chapter 1
So the concept of Troy being a Prince is great and something I haven't seen to often. However I have to say your story could use some work. Now I see this was uploaded back in 09 so I'm assuming you've grown as an author but it's always good to get feedback anyways. Every little bit helps right?
Everytime someone speaks [ex: "come in." said Jack. "dad, I need to talk to you." said Troy. "of course." said Jack as he motioned for Troy to take a seat.] This is not done correctly. Each new sentence of dialogue is still capitalized. This style of dialogue however is also very generic and bland. For example to change the beginning of your story...
Troy Bolton, a name well known and respected throughout the kingdom of Albuquerque, stood outside his bedroom looking out over his vast kingdom. The young Prince sighed, thoughts swirling about in his mind over the future. His parents, King Jack and Queen Lucille, were wonderful rulers and great parents however he knew they were very protective of him and stuck in the old ways. In two years time his father would step down from his position as King of Albuquerque and it Troy would rise as the new King.
Troy wanted to marry before he became King. Not just some bimbo that was good breeding, came from a well off family and would have claim to his kingdom. He wanted a woman to be his partner, his best friend, his lover and his soul confidant. Someone he could spend the rest of eternity with.
Turning on his heel Troy strode out of his bedroom and made his way through the grand castle, greeting the staff and other guests as he moved along. Finally he reached his father's office and knocked gently on the door.
"Father, may I come in?" asked Troy through the door. "I wish to speak to you about something urgent."
A few odd sounds could be heard inside the room before the door opened to reveal Jack Bolton, the King of Albuquerque. Jack was a tall man, with lean muscles, sun tanned skin and piercing blue eyes. He was a handsome man by many standards.
"Ah good morning my boy," he greeted Troy, placing an affectionate hand on Troy's shoulder. "Please come in and don't mind the mess."
Entering the King's office he noticed his father had been very busy with whatever it was Jack was working on. The room, though clean, had stacks of paper scattered all around, discarded pens and ink jars littered his desk and table.
"Now Troy what brings you here at this hour of the morning?" asked Jack, sitting down in his large, impressive chair.
Another thing is to try and set the theme. Using the states as seperate Kingdoms is good, gives you a lot to work with, however you need to distinguish a time period. Are you mixing modern tech and a medieval feel or are you basing it back in the days of the actual Kings and Queen?
Anyways I shall stop rambling on and I hoped this all helped out even just a little bit. Good luck in the future and I hope to read some more of your work.
| SokaiRox 6/17/12 . chapter 23
Wowo this is THE coolest, romantic Troyella love story i've eva read! grear thinkin about using parts of the 'King & I' and 'Brandy Cinderella' in2 ur story. i could read this over, and over and over again! GREAT JOB :)
| ValzBrownie 4/14/12 . chapter 23
What a lovely ending 3
Too bad it ended because this story was amazing. You an amazingly awesome job writing this story.
| UDFlyers 4/14/12 . chapter 23
Amazing! I love this story a lot, there should be a sequel!
| yogaluva 4/13/12 . chapter 23
Aww sweet and loving ending
| milly4 4/13/12 . chapter 23
great story I really enjoyed it
| Nikkieee02 4/13/12 . chapter 23
Yes I think you write a sequel and it can be about Isabelle revenge which could be her kidnapping Gabriella and/or the growing of Juliet and possibly another child
| palmbeach 4/13/12 . chapter 23
| pumpkinking5 4/13/12 . chapter 23
Thanks for a wonderful and wonderful story.
They got married! YEA!.. They deserved to be happy with their family and reign over the kingdom.
| hopelessromanticgurl 4/13/12 . chapter 23
Great ending to a great story I'm sad to see it end but it was very well written. Great work!
| Allison Summers 4/3/12 . chapter 22
Im speechless. Sorry I cant review because it would be bigger than any enclapedia or dictonary with every word exisiting in the world. :0 You have a talent and im glad you use it to share with all of us.
| hopelessromanticgurl 4/2/12 . chapter 22
Great chapter I really enjoyed it. :)
| pumpkinking5 4/2/12 . chapter 22
Gabby had her baby Juliet. How adorable.
Troy and Gabby are so overjoy with the news.
That bitch Isabelle is really vengeful. I am glad that nothing Gabby and the baby were not harm from her assault.
| yogaluva 4/2/12 . chapter 22
awesome update..aww she had a baby
| valzbrownie not logged in 4/2/12 . chapter 22
omg im gunna cry :')
im glad gabriella is ok after that attack. awww i bet the baby is beautiful 3
please update soon!