Oops! I meant 'the end of ch 20' below:

"And the main one that bothered me, Fornication: Both in Spyro’s being born illegitimately and in what Cynder tried to initiate with Spyro at the start of ch. 20, it seemed a few characters mistook lust for love in this story. This is such a commonly accepted sin the world today that it really bothered me."

This was a hard story to review. On the one hand, it was enthralling enough for me to read it all in one sitting. OTOH, it had a few problems, the last of which will likely keep it off my 'favorites' list.

Here's what I thought, both good and bad:

Pros:

Really well written: It was detailed and had good development of characters’ emotions. Something you don’t always see in fanfics.

Handled disturbing issues well: For example, Spyro took revenge on the cheetahs and wound up paying a price for it—in innocent lives lost and in feelings of guilt he won’t soon get over.

Unpredictable ending: Ok. I peeked at the end beforehand. If I hadn’t, though, I never would’ve seen the twist coming.

Cons:

Inconsistent characterization of Caesar: If he’s a power-hungry dictator who hates dragons, I don’t see him calling off the attack on Warfang like that. Likely, he wouldn’t care why the dragons had attacked.

Time: How did the Cheetahs go from being a bunch of hunter-gatherer tribes to a totalitarian state with what seemed like an almost WWII level of weaponry in just a few weeks?

And the main one that bothered me, Fornication: Both in Spyro’s being born illegitimately and in what Cynder tried to initiate with Spyro at the start of ch. 20, it seemed a few characters mistook lust for love in this story. This is such a commonly accepted sin the world today that it really bothered me.

I have one word to say how I feel about this story...

...Sequel. I want to see more!

I hate how Spyro was finally able to tell Cynder he loves her and she ends up falling in love with someone else.

Actually what I hate is that she didn't believe him when he finally said it.

I assume that the seeing stone idea you got from lord of the rings?

Foreshadowing, or just confusing?

I guess I just don't see Spyro and Cynder as 'just friends'.

I'm recognizing what's going on. It's Cynder's dream coming to pass.

I have to say this was a wonderful story. I really like the plot, and no, couldn't tell it was Flame that set up the war, through it was Hunter trying to trick the dragons into freeing his people.

I wouldn't mind a sequel about Spyro's son. I also want to let you know, that its because of you that I joined this website.

I suppose the hardest battle we could ever fight is indeed against the ones we love. I suspected that something was wrong the moment Flame was attacked, but not that he had willingly used the darkness. I hope that he, and Spyro, can finally find real peace.

...Whew. Whoa. The suspense of this story...gratifying. I mean, from the beginning, it started out in dreams with Spyro-terrifying dreams that forces him not only into secrecy of the dreams, but in doubts of his affection for Cynder.

Now Enter Flame. He endured a hell of a lot of trsining to become a fire guardian, only to have it stripped away from him and given to Spyro upon his and Cynder's return.

And regardless of his understanding to the decision, he has carried that kind of hidden emotions of anger and resent for so long. That kind of thing can actually do something to a person.

His betrayal in the end, although shocking and unexpected, was practically living proof of that, regardless of his good deeds in rejoicing Spyro and Cynder's relationship, which was also another reason for these hidden emotions since he sought for her affection.

But for the most part, I'm glad it turned out great in the end now that Flame realized the errors of his way, just as Cynder has. It gives you closure.

As I said, this is one gratifying story to read, man. I really hope to see more from you in the future. Ciao for now.

Neo Rabbit

OH NO! YOU'RE NOT GONNA WRITE ANY MORE STORIES! NO! dude, you gotta keep going! your stories are amazing, espcially this one and the black september series! please don't quit making stories!

i liked it!

i look forward to more from you

-luna

This was actually an unpredictable ending. I like it of course, but I never expected Caesar to suddenly change sides, and to partially change his ways. I wonder... will there be a sequel to this? It has the ability to become that kind of story, but whatever you wish it to become. Also, I haven't seen you around any of my stories lately (I could be wrong about that too) tell me how I'm doing on those if you can. :)

-Ultima

This in a way reminds me so much of so many great movies. They acheive the great emotion that they set out to acheive and yet in every sigle movie there is a moment towards the end that you stop right there and say: "That would never happen" In this case it was Ceaser suddenly agreeing to stop the bombing.

It made practicaly no sence that his personality would do that. Everything else was geat though as I have came to expect from you. :)

Thanks for the plug, mabey somebody will read mine because of that and mabey not. Thanks for supplying the great story and for keeping me and other's entertained for this period of time and I hope that mabey you will find another great story idea... Until then I hope to see you around.

Until again, Thanks,

Cornys

great story my friend i actually liked it...