Lovely chapter! Looking forward to more.

amazing!
Aims5;)

Very nice chapter again.

In reply to: The Voice of Good Literature:

Firstly, may I point out your faults in two places. First, Twilight is NOT good literature. And I am an avid Twilight fan--I'll be the first to admit loving the books, without being ashamed of it. Second, that your comment was insanely rude, and you could have made your point with a little more effort at a lot more courtesy. Take your own advice. Growing up should mean maturity, self-control and hopefully a CONTENT outlook on life, rather than a morbid killing spree.

To the author of the story: well done. It was a good effort and I don't think you deserved such spiteful criticism.

Good! I don't know is Jesse would ever kill himself, but oh well. It's just a story.
It's well written, and good plot. Please update soon!

This sucks. You suck. You're a Twilight fan, aren't you? Kill yourself. Kill yourself right now.

The message of Twilight is that if the person you love dies, or just doesn't want to be with you anymore, you should KILL yourself, because that's the ONLY thing worth living for.

Luckily, the Twilighters will kill themselves off eventually, because everyone gets dumped at some point. Join the winning side of evolution, stop being a fourteen-year-old girl, and GROW UP!

Really like this story. I want to see where this is going. Please continue soon. Getting better now you're using more original stuff.

Great job.

Very good chapter! Looking forward to the next one.

the story was well written, but that was so stupid.jess would never kill himself,that was the whole point of the book.she set him free to live his life.it wasn't romeo and juliet,it was titanic.

Well, it wasn't quite original. There have been a few fanfics before this that have used the idea of Jess going through the same fate.

Sorry if I came across as too harsh in my first review. I do hope you continue this story and honestly meant to be constructive even if it didn't turn out that way. I just really have a problem with Bill and Judy giving up too easily and holding a wake while Leslie's heart is still beating. It just comes across as morbid and creepy to mew personally. I'm not trying to discourage you, just trying to make you more believable and your story more realistic. Please continue!

Wait a minute... She seems to be dead, despite what the title says. Quite peculiar...

ARRGH!

I'm not picking on you individually. You're not the first person to write an LDD story in which Leslie is either in a coma and expected to die, or was swept down the creek and disappeared, but insists on sticking to the book/movie scene where her family has her wake.

As long as Leslie's heart was still beating, Bill and Judy Burke would NEVER leave her bedside. And if she was missing (I know that's a different scenario from yours but I'm putting this out for the benefit of anyone who has written or plans on writing said scenario) they would NEVER stop looking for her after just one month, let alone one day. And they would never say, "We know she's going to die [or We know she's dead], let's go ahead and hold a wake for her." No loving parent would ever do that.

You've got good syntax and grammar, but you're relying too much on paraphrasing or outright copying from the book. Prove to us that you've got some REAL talent, stop using the book as a crutch, and create a real Alternate Universe using your own words and ideas!

This is not just for Max Cullen-Whitlock but for all of you fanfic writers who like to just regurgitate from the book or screenplay! Show us what you've REALLY got!