yowzerz.

I didn't want to get into a dead fic, even one of yours, but this was great. As short as it was, that is.

You're a champ.

Keep it up.-PC

I'm sorry, but a girl abusing a guy is as low as a guy abusing a girl. Right now I really want to trash Mokoto ... like REALLY.

If you wanted to make us nearly hate Mokoto, it's a win. I want to slip in her chambers at night and slit her throat and watch her die while clutching her throat while saying "That's what you get for trashing me you bitch". That's how I want to pay back the bitch.

And I actually wanted in the manga a Motoko/Keitaro pairing. To make me hate her so much, you sir, get a cookie.

See ya

nice, i'm liking this fic. I just wish that you would update soon. Wow, different to see sadist Motoko. Keep it up!

...awww, Keitaro...

yay, you'd better continue this!

It this gonna be a Keitaro/Motoko? Coz I'm having a hard time imagining how they could end up together when your portrayal of Motoko is something like this/

Another good chapter, but I have to say that I would find Keitaro more believable if a reason was given for willingness to put up with Motoko. Possibly something like 'getting a thrill' or 'secretly believing she was right'. Lastly, is this going to be lemon or just Mature?

Interesting... I can't seem to peg where this story is headed, which is usual for your style. You're very good.

Motoko is a bit more vindictive (not sure if that's the right word, maybe I mean merciless) toward Keitaro than I originally expected. I'm very curious as to where it will lead.

Quite some time for an update, oh well.

Guess I was beaten to the punch by the earlier reviewers. I must say that you turned Motoko's violence level to 11, while toning down, if not, completely removing Naru's signature response. Also, Kitsune seems to be a little less playful and scheming. Understandable, given Motoko's response.

Christ, was it me? Or did I just detect some sort of satisfaction, that may even border to the sexual, concerning this line Motoko blushed, an image of Keitaro huddled on the floor, trying to protect himself with his hands fading into the ether. “Sorry, just day dreaming…
And this“You may have accepted him, but I haven’t.” Motoko calmly resumed eating, the disapproving looks of her fellow residents not fazing her in the least. She smiled inwardly as she remembered the way Keitaro had wilted at her litany of insults before he’d left the table.

The way you wrote her spelled sadism all over and in capital letters. One hell of a red flag. Looks like this is becoming too long. Well, keep us on our toes and our fingers on the refresh button.

Cheers!

Nice continuation.

Interesting start. You don't usually see "GOOD WRITTEN Motoko-is-evil" fics. And when I mean "Evil", it IS evil. That sadism is just dark and in a bizarre way, quaint and interesting. I think it would be that she likes him, at least in a since, since you say it's Drama/Romance. More like angst and romance, maybe even a tragedy. Keitaro is much in character, Motoko seems the same way, albeit more brutal and unforgiving. Naru is the only one out-of-character, which strangely balances it, the story, out.
Great job so far. Like most of your Love Hina stories, this one got a great dark over-tone.

another good chapter keep it up and update soon

Decided to have a look at this fic, and I'm pleased to say I wasn't disappointed. The only thing is is that I keep picturing Motoko as a dominatrix now lol.

Keep up the good work!

This story has really surprised me since Motoko is very different than in your other stories. It's also curious to see that Naru is given a completely different treatment.
Oh, and I don't know if you intended to make it so, but "did Buffalo win the super bowl"LOL!

I'm really, really liking this story.

Let me try to offer some constructive comments. The reason I'm liking this story so much is perhaps due to the personality of both Keitaro and Motoko plus the premise of the story.

First, the personalities. One thing I've noticed in most Love Hina stories is that people tend to give Keitaro an 'extreme' personality. Whether it's being too nice (most common), being too angry, being too confused, and etc, it's always some type of extreme personality.

Your portrayed Keitaro in a more human way. Yes, he has a bit of a self-depreciating personality, but he has some esteem as we've seen him defend himself a few times. So in other words, somewhat depressed, but otherwise pretty normal.

Regarding Motoko, you did give her a very extreme personality (cruelty, of course), but I suspect it is related to the story and it seems to be the driving force in the story, so it is not only entirely forgivable, but it is actually commendable. Aside from that, I don't often see the girls with extreme personalities (with the exception of Naru), so this is kind of unique.

Now then, regarding the premise of the story, it is interesting enough. You've presented a conundrum, Motoko's ultra violent hostility, and you sort of left us wondering what is the source of it. Now, it seems a bit too virulent to be normal, and she seems to derive too much pleasure from it and it seems to be exclusive to men, so I'm going to go ahead and take a guess that Motoko is into sexual sadism? :D

Whichever it is, I hope to see another chapter from you soon because I am really interested in this story!