me encanto :3

Cute I love this! :D

Aw! That was so cute! Aw, im so high right now. Awesome job, loved it. Make more, please.

-Spudstah

This reminds me of one of those last few episodes of "bEst selling Secrets"...Nvm but still, i never knew the lyrics to "London Bridge is falling down!" I jus tthought that the lyrics were a American way to teach children to resis t British occupation! Where doesn the lay part come from? Well, its nice to see another Aki and yusei plot, so keep writing those!

Plot is original, deliverance is average.

The concept was good, and you worded Yusei's actions and thoughts properly, though it was a bit OOC in regards to Yusei. Now at times, this type of writing can get a bit boring, because it's straight action and almost no room for thought in regards to the character. Perhaps slow it down, and make use of figurative speech.

Add more intensity, and I'm sure you can reach your full potential! 0