This may sound harsh but this chapter is really over the top and predictable. I suggest that you rethink this chapter, eg make it less cleshayed.

man this is getting good keep up the good work.

WOW...This is a grate story can't wait till more. Keep up the good work. :)

hm... good story so far... the sentences seem a bit choppy (to me, at least... :P) but overall a great story ;)
please write more! :)