A great story. Very good.

Aw! I loved the ending, especially the 'Knights of the Round Table' references! Gotta love those times, particularly they're now LIVING them! O.O

lol. Poor kids, not allowed to do anything because of a prophecy! XD They're so dejected!

Go, Aslan! I wonder what Su and Lu an are planning...?

Rock on! This was very sweet! ^U^ *U*
Ever-so sincerely signed,
Shizuku Tsukishima749 :D ;D :) ;)

Admittedly, I have warm fuzzies from reading this lovely little piece. I've always loved the Penvensie brothers, and the movie version of them made them all the more attractive; and now your little insert has endeared them to me all the more.

Quick question: by "fawn" did you mean a baby deer or did you mean "faun," those creatures like Mr. Tumnus?

I really liked the awkward tension between Edmund and Peter because realistically we all know that the brothers couldn't have made up so easily for so great a crime. They could have forgiven each other, sure, but that doesn't guarantee that everything will be good and easy. Tastefully you've expressed that here; furthermore, I particularly favored the questions Edmund asked himself: would Peter make him a king? What about the others? I could see him asking those questions. Anyway, thank you for the piece, and I hope happy writing to you~!

ahh, I absolutely loved this. I love any story that involves brotherly bonding, and this was great. I love Edmund's uncertainty at the beginning- there are many, many stories that deal with that uncertainty AFTER Edmund has been crowned a King, but very few that deal with his uncertainty if he will ever join his family in being royalty. And the part with Lancelot and Arthur is something I can see a young Peter and young Edmund doing. And very clever of you to come up with it.

the shadow proves the sunshine

you need to change your story to complete, or people will filter it out

Amazing story. I couldn't have done better. This is definitely going on my favorites!

As Always,
Desi Jo

I love this, the hesitency and gradual bonding of the brothers is so real and heartwarming. I hope you keep writing I can't wait to see what's next :)

This was marvellous! Congratulations on such a skilful little story. How did you manage to get inside the head of the brothers quite so well? I loved their clumsy attempts at reconcilation.

In particular I enjoyed Edmund's nerves, and especially his reply "It was...just a thought". That seemed so very Edmund. And Susan's skill in forcing the boys to go alone was beautifully written.

Well done and thank you for sharing.

What a lovely ending to a lovely story, it made me tear up. I just love the suddle emotions you put into play, the hesitations. Extreamly good writing and I appreciate you keeping to the characters character. Wonderful. I certainly hope this is not the end. I don't remember reading where this is a one-shot or that it is complete. I must say this is a perfect foundation to build on if you do have plans to continue.

Thanks again for a wonderful and pleasant read,
Rolletti

yay, i hope this isn't a one shot, its not is it? anyways, lovely story; please continue!

The writing is good -- clear and uncluttered, descriptive enough to give the reader an image but not too detailed. Nice touching on the sudden transition from no one to royalty, the Pevensies's being left with nothing to do.

The best part for this reviewer is the way you don't simply skim over the schism between Peter and Edmund. Its not simply the betrayal and the battle that they have to deal with; at this point in LWW, they really don't know each other, and that isn't going to be forgotten even if Edmund has changed. Very nice how you have Edmund biting back some rude comments, and the boys wanting but not knowing how to talk to each other -- very nice.

All ready I like it just by reading your author's note. I've always wanted to see a story where it addresses the people, ahem animals, that were turned to stone by Jadis.

I can see why they're very frustrated. I'd be frustrated myself if someone kept taking away something that I was doing. I like the part where Edmund is thinking what job Peter would give him because he didn't think he'd become King of Narnia.

The part where Peter imitated Edmund's pout made me laugh. I could see that happening in my head and it made me laugh out loud. Brilliant. The race was a good touch, it showed how well they bond with each other.

The ending I loved the most because I can see Peter as King Arthur and Edmund as Lancelot. The last line made me smile so much.

I hope there is more to this, it's a great start. If not, then it was a great one-shot. I'll alert it to be safe anyway.

~Crystal