Fuck me! I had a REAL long, nice review for this. I did. Like 500+ words, then fanfic didn't fucking submit it, and I didn't save it. D:

Ugh, well, this was pretty damn near amazing, so I'll take the time to review again. I'm still so disgusted with myself for not getting reviews on all these amazing fics of yours. Well, he's another epic review. It'll probably end up being as long as the story itself.

Well, I'll start with grammar, I suppose. Nothing major, but there were a couple things. There are really are only two I noticed. Both of which are easily fixable. One, you had a couple superfluous commas. Two, you switched tenses a couple times.

Here are the locations of the superfluous commas:
-They sent him with hollow eyes, and pasty skin.
-I promised that I’d keep my head up, and keep it all together.
-I promised to quit lying, and stop attaching myself to everyone and everything.
If you have a compound direct object, you don't need a comma.

Now, unto switching tenses. There were a couple areas you did:
In the first paragraph, you wrote "Who are “they”? I don’t know." It should be "Who were "they"? I didn't know."

In the six paragraph, you wrote "He hated being away from what he knew – he needed stability. He has that now." "He has that now." should be "He had that now."

The last two paragraphs are a jumbled mess of past and present tense for lack of a better wording.

You wrote:
"I always wonder if I could write a story about Soda and send it in. People could know him like I did – like I do – and they could feel the way I feel. Everyone needs to feel sometimes. But Reader’s Digest doesn’t pay for feeling. They pay for funny. They pay for Soda.

They don’t pay for reality."

It should be:
"I always wondered if I could write a story about Soda and send it in. People could know him like I did-like I do-and they could feel the way I felt. Everyone needed to feel sometimes. But the Reader's Digest didn't pay for the feeling. They paid for funny: they paid for Soda(I think I semicolon might work nice there, too.)

They didn't pay for reality."

And that's about it grammar-wise. No worries, though. It didn't detract from the story in the least bit, but I just thought you might appreciate knowing the little details. (:

Wow, is really all that's coming to mind to say at the moment. And this is the point in the review where I have to pause and think for a bit. I'm really at a loss for what to say. Take my speechlessness as a compliment. This was really nothing short of amazing.

Okay, just to let you know I spent about ten minutes trying to come up with the right words to review this. I really was that blown away.

Real deep, and just full of raw, powerful emotions. And the intensity at which you show them earns you major brownie points. You really said a lot in the nine hundred something words, and in all honesty it didn't need to be more than nine hundred words. You said exactly what needed to be said. It was concise and almost simple in a way. It was damn effective, though. Sometimes less words have more meaning, and that is without a doubt the case here.

War changes a person, and you without a doubt portrayed that dynamic with Soda. It's hard for me to imagine him coming home from 'Nam completely unaffected by it. We didn't see Soda directly, but we got a great in-depth analysis of him from his brother's POV, and I think that made seeing his transformation more affective. Soda's would've been tainted by his bitterness and coldness after the coming home.

That being said, I loved your portrayal of Pony in this. He was honest and almost innocent in his observation of Soda. I can just imagine him being all shook up when Soda left, being real excited when he got the news Soda was coming home, and then just being absolutely crushed when he saw that his brother was far from the person he knew and remembered. Poor Ponyboy. You did such a great job writing this; you legit made me feel bad for my least favorite character. He seemed a lot more mature in this, though, and I suppose the events of the book plus having Soda go off to 'Nam might make a person grow up and smell the fucking coffee. I like how you showed his maturity, but still portrayed his innocence. Pony will always be a tad bit of a dreamer and aloof in my mind, and I'm happy I saw that in your fic.

The Reader's Digest. Oh man. What do I even say? Well, Pony's perception of them, and the people that read the magazine seemed pretty damn accurate to me, and I really liked the point you got across with that. People don't pay for reality, they pay for funny. And it's sad, but very true and 100% accurate. Most all of the people I've come across in this world are incredibly superficial, even some of those I like. People don't seem to care anymore, unless it concerns them or makes them laugh.

You really did do an amazing job with this. I loved every minute of it, and again I regret not reading it until about a half hour ago. It was raw with emotion and definitely made an impact on me, really made me think. It's most definitely a favorite now, and I'm thinking it's quite possibly my favorite of all my favorites.

And I think this review is now longer the the piece of writing. But, you know what, you deserved an epic review for this. I'm really glad I took the time to read it today, and I was more than happy to take the time to review it. I hope you enjoyed this review, and that it wasn't just a hot mess of rambling. I really did try to make a point or two. LOL.

Much love,
Al

that was very... sad

sad but it does kind of make u think..

nice job (I almost cried) lol

I love intense fics like this and it really did make me think. My two favourite lines...

'Mom always told us that home is where the heart is, and Soda’s heart ain’t here. I don’t know where it is.' - It definitely puts in to affect just how much Soda has changed, especially with the later comments about Soda having a big heart.

'They pay for funny. They pay for Soda. They don’t pay for reality.' - I particularly love this. I'm not sure what it is I like about this but it's very affective.

You've done a really good job at writing a realistic post 'Nam fic. Well done.

Trying to make me cry, are you?! Well ya did. I'm not quite sure if Soda's dead, or just dead on the inside, but the raw emotions you put into this piece were like no other I've read on the matter. Whether or not Soda made it home alive, he wouldn't be the same person apon returning, and I think you showed how Ponyboy would react to that very well.

Keep up the great work!

Is he dead or like PTSD? You should like totaly update.

A is for amazing. This is... well I can't even describe it. Great job.

This is good. This is real good. I like the reality of it. I can see why Pony wants the old Soda back,because to me, I can see him not dead dead, but just..exisiting. In a vaccuum.

I am totally envisioning a taxidermied Soda sitting on the couch all day. Because if you didn't intend for him to be actully dead in this, he is just about as good as dead - dead inside, anyway.

Very heartbreaking - waiting and waiting for him to "come home" and when he finally does, he is not at all what Pony had actually been missing.

Really nicely written, and certainly thought-provoking

All I can do is applaud.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone addressing Soda's return from Viet Nam and Ponyboy's reaction to it quite this way before. This is a much more realistic version to me. For some reason, I can't see Soda coming home the same happy-go-lucky guy he was when he left. To me, the horrors of what he saw and was forced to do while over there would have permanently affected him as a person. I also think this would have been extremely difficult for Ponyboy to deal with. I can see him viewing the "new" Soda as a poor substitute for his favorite brother and I can even see him being resentful of him for changing. In 1969, Pony would be somewhere around 17 or 18, so it would be a few years before he had anywhere near the maturity level to understand the reasons why Soda changed so much.

I think this is a very different portrayal for this site and as such might not be all that well received (no butterflies and rainbows for Soda's homecoming? GASP!) by some readers. But, if my two cents are worth anything, I thought this was a well written, thoughtful piece and I enjoyed seeing something closer to what things would have/could have been like when Soda came home.

Well done.

Aaw. Poor Soda. D:

This was a really nice story. Too bad Reader's Digest doesn't pay for feeling. You could have sent this story in if it did.

:D

~~Jacovi

I absolutley loved that last line. It was really good. One question though; is Soda dead or alive yet different? After reading this the song I Will Remember You came on and I started crying. This was spectacular! Great job, I applaud your work.

OMG DIS WAS SO GUD!11

For real, though. This just about sums up how I imagined Pony would be after Soda's death. It's like he's doing all he can to keep from breaking apart. And he's so empty like.

Amazing job, as always.

-Kris

Huh. Interesting. I'm still wrapping my head around it, which is a good thing, because that means you've made me think.

Okay, so... seriously... You gotta stop tugging at my heart strings like that!
I read this, and I cried by the end. There were tears rolling down my face, and no one to wipe them away. Way to go.
I hate you for having so much talent. Share with the rest of the world!
great job!