I love your story. I would really like the side story. infact i'm actually checking fanfiction everyday for it/

Hello! I'm back again. Sorry I disappeared for so long, I suddenly got markedly more romance in my life. And homework. Then I started working on a fanfiction of my own, and when I got back onto FF, I saw that you'd finished, and I was like, 'OHWMG I WASN'T HERE!' so I tried to log on, but the computer was being a dick and...and...

Yeah.

So anyway...

Congratulations on finally finishing Unwritten! I think you should have a cookie, and a hug, and a hug of cookies! *Cookie hugs* So...I'm not really in the mood to review. I'm just sort of spazzing that it's finally over. I mean, there's the Epilogue, but that's already done, so my notes would go mostly unnoticed. So I'm probably just going to throw senseless praise at you for having this long of an attention span(If you'll notice, I have one Fanfiction up right now, and there's only one chapter. I got bored with it). But somehow, Unwritten has sort of become my pet favorite. You know, the one that I checked consistently to watch for updates, and tried to review every chapter of(speaking of which, have I done that? I think I missed a few.), and all that jazz with a side of fries. Oh, yeah, and I quote it to help me make a point.

Good job for sticking it through the whole way. I can tell how you've been improving, and I've been getting better at writing reviews in the meantime. Not so much at writing, but I think I've been getting better at reviews, at least. And I got a chapter dedicated to me! How cool is that? Thanks for that one, by the way. It made my day like three times over.

Anyway, less sentimentality! I don't even know what I'm saying anymore with it, and I'm the one saying it! Er, writing it. Typing it...? Whatever.

Yay, chickens named after drugs. I can't think of anything better than that. No, seriously, I'm going to lulz. That's not really in June, but that's not the point. It's still pretty lulzy.

Horo's threat about ripping out spleens sounds like something from the Jeeves and Wooster books. Have you ever read those books? I like those books. But anyway.

Ryu = Pedophile. Perverted pedophile. Who's gay. Surely, you must know this, guys. *speaking to the Mankin cast*

Oh, God, High School Musical. Please, make it stop. I have enough young, female second-cousins talking about the shmexiest actor already, I don't need Ren and Pirika bringing it up. DAMMIT, YOU TWO! *Insert fist shaking here*

Yay, spiritual pilgrimage with Lady Sati. Hopefully he doesn't molest her nine ways from Sunday during that.

Jun as a principal. That's...actually a pretty good idea. For serious.

Go sobbing and man-hugs and guys calling out obvious statements to each other and all that jazz. And off go Anna and Yoh. Cue more spiritual pilgrimage. Sorta.

Where was Manta, by the way? Looks like he got a girlfriend his size! Oh, wait, no, it explains it in the next paragraph. And I'm an unobservant idiot. Hi.

Photography and Hair. Actually, that would make a pretty good name for a side-story about those two. Just mentioning it. And yeah, I know I suddenly skipped backwards, but who doesn't? No one, that's who. I like answering my own questions. Isn't that right? Yes.

Going farther backwards...

'No! I can't chicken out this time.' Hur, I c ur forshadowing. =D

Go peer pressure. Sometimes, it's a good thing. And it makes teenage boys confess in really, really awkward ways, that they like a certain girl. Which brings me back to Photography and Hair. No, I'm serious, that would be an epic name for a side story. Not even kidding. You should totally do it when you're done with your RenXPirika one. It would be amazing. Probably written in letter form. Oh, man, I just came up with that. I'm awesome.

Yeah, Yoh is the only person who could give real hugs to people like that. Again, I skipped backwards. Maybe I'm hard to keep up with, but my brain's all over the place, so get used to it.

Oh, God, my mom does that thing. You know, the 'you didn't forget anything, did you?' It's just like, 'no, mom, I didn't forget anything, now please shut up.' Poor Lyserg. He was stuck with Marco for THAT LONG. You gotta pity him.

I really don't know how Tamao puts up with Horo. But I guess it's a matter of preferences. Wicked preferences.

Nichrom. Lulz.

And Tamao's crying. Of course, I probably would, too, if my girlfriend said, 'hey, you're never going to see your bestie again! But it's all good, right?' (I am a girl, by the way. Just so you don't get confused.)

Wow. They use a freshman's application for a tissue. That poor freshman. I kinda feel bad for him, y'know? Or her. Whichever.

D'aww, Joco can't be Anna's scapegoat anymore. It's gonna have to be Yoh instead. But you know, he'll never be quite the same. That's just how it is.

Double d'aww, that's such a sweet moment between Anna and Yoh. I'm gettin' kinda fuzzy inside...

And that is, possibly, the best ending ever. I finally figured out why the fanfiction is called Unwritten. I just figured it was because Tamao liked writing. But apparently not. I feel smart now. Hi.

But yeah, if you don't write a fanfiction called Photography and Hair, written in letters between Jeanne and Lyserg, I don't know who will. So you better do it. For the Chokopoppo. For me.

Please?

Again, congratulations on finishing. I'll read your other fanfictions and such, but Unwritten is always gonna be special. Send me a PM sometime, and perhaps we can get to know each other. That would be kind of cool. So it would be less me adoring you and not really knowing what you're like except from Author Notes, and you just hearing my advice, and more like...awesomeness. But I'm forgetful, so if we decide to talk, it's gonna have to be you that starts. I wouldn't know if you disapproved of talking to me, or what, so like...yeah. Whatev's. Anyway...

Coolio. More hugs. I'll review Yoh and the Oni, too, since I started reading that. Dunno if I'll like it that much, but that's probably because that kind of story doesn't really appeal to me. Unless it's got the smex in it. But you don't really write that, as far as I can tell, so...

This was my last (and longest) review on Unwritten. I think I'm going to cry. Excuse me, I need to leave the room. (No, for serious, I'm probably going to cry. I'm just weird like that.)

~Chokopoppo

aah wow, a chicken. great present haha.

loved the epilogue though! and after reading the synopsis for Wild Young Hearts I can't wait to read those either~

Wow, that was great! Thank you for writing it, and I hope that you will indeed do the sequel! I really liked this, and I'm sad its over.

such a cute ending! i especially loved the jeanne and lyserg confession and inevitable marco vs ryu faceoff. great way to keep the humor and serious balanced well. i'd love to read both a sidestory and the sequel, will be looking forward to both!

Aaww *.* I so loved this ending! Everything worked out just perfect - well, Ren's the way he is, but I'm sure he'll come through in the epilogue (and if not, I definitely want the sequel ~ by the way, I would like to read it anyways!), and Lyserg and Jeanne were so sweet... photography and hair, lol xDxD You have quite a fantasy, and I love how you write.
... I always try to be constructive, but just can't seem to find anything to criticise. This is just perfect.
Hope you'll update soon!
Yours,
Roni-chan

Damn, all your stories are so good and entertaining!
Aww, poor Pirika... :( I feel so sorry for her- that last line just tore my heart out (figuratively, of course).
Yoh&Anna= <3 ^_^
And you know, TamaoxHorohoro used to seem so..unreal to me, (same for RenxPirika) but your fic has me really liking the couple(s)! ^_^
(Thankyou so much for the JunxBailong hints. So very, very much.)
Overall love the story and pairings and can't wait for the next two chappies! :D

Wow, wow, and wow again! Such a wonderful story! It actually is the best AU-fic I've ever read (and not only in the SK fandom)! You're amazing! I so love how you write it, and the characters are totally like themselves in the original and yet it's unique and... and everything...
ah, I just can't seem to write it out properly -.- I wanted to give you a real review, but seems like I can just blabber about how much I like it, and that's not too constructive. Oh well.
Y' know, probably the best thing about it are the sarcastic and funny remarks you make as the writer, sometimes speaking out to the readers (as when Tamao is trying to write to Horohoro). Most writers don't do that (at least not fanfic writers). You play with words magnificently, and use some awesome grammatical things too (such as I loved the repetitive scene-starting with first Lyserg, Pirika, Ren and Ryu, then Joco, Tamao and Horohoro).
Also, I loved the way you made up the "asking-for-forgiveness" scenes with Tamao and Horohoro, and also with Lyserg and Pirika - I laughed a lot at that; that he actually had to say it in front of everyone else, lol :D -. The only negative ("") thing I can think about was in this part, that I actually would have loved to see such a scene between Yoh and Anna. You know, I would think that Anna wouldn't change her mind about going to VU with Yoh just by herself. She seemed to have such a strong self-confiding-less (damn, I don't know the exact English word for that, screw me... hope you got it though), that she doesn't believe in herself, that she could actually be loved by Yoh etc. etc., that I missed the part where Yoh talks to her about it. Or would that have been too much fluff? Seems like I have a thing for Yohna, but you were the one who actually pictured Anna with a so vulnerable inside! ;)
Huh, seems like you did get a long (hopefully not too boring) review from me. ^^ Expect me to keep up with the story from now on (sorry for finding it just recently), and getting more reviews if you update, because it just so much deserves it!
Yours,
Roni-chan
^(¤.¤)^
(an owl for you :P)

not bad. i'm kind of hoping to see some resolve for the hao and lyserg conflict though as we still don't know why lyserg so adamantly hated hao in your story yet.

also waiting to see how ren and pirika pan out. very good so far, cant wait to read more

Loved this chapter, seemed like the plot really got moving here. will definitely continue reading!

Aw! I get a big thank you! That's so kickin' rad! Speaking of which...

I intended to write you a review sooner, but the first time I saw that there was an update, it was yesterday, which was my birthday, and therefore I was rather busy with managing all my shazzammily cool stuff. Which included Shaman King manga volumes 23 and 24! =D Not that I hadn't already read that far. But I'm collecting the volumes, so...y'know. XD

~Ahem~ Anyway. Now to act more professional and less like some sort of sugar high nine-year-old. (Which I'm not. Just wanted to clear that up.)

Y'know, everyone says that cafeteria food is really nasty, but I've found that I've never gone to a school which has really bad lunch food. Except for the mashed potatoes at the middle school I went to. I learned to avoid those in sixth grade. Survival instincts and all that.

Hm...Pirika's hacking up salad and shtuff like that. Not that I'm saying it's unlikely. I personally hate salads. But, say Pirika went anorexic/bulimic/whatever for Lyserg and can't get out of the habit...lulz, plot twist! I'm so good like that. (Actually, that was kinda bad. But something like that.)

Oh, by the way, I believe it's Damuko, with a 'u'. It means 'dam kid'. You probably already knew that. Her real name was Tamiko Kurobe. Look how smarticle I am.

Hur hur, nervous Pirika. Lyserg isn't helping. Go, Ren! Go! Punch the whiny British emo pansy in the face! I mean, ~ahem~...heh heh...Turtles?

Seriously, though, Ren and Pirika are cute. They're both so awkward...they've got no clue of what to do about their current predicament. Heh heh. Predicament. Say it. Predicament.

Getting in character? Pirika. Really. By the way, are they just doing some generic musical, or did you actually come up with something? I'm imagining Godspell, and Ren dressed like Jesus is not a comforting thought. Jibbely.

Y'know, for some reason, I always imagine the four of them (Joco, Pirika, Jeanne, and Tamao) in a limousine (It took me forever to spell that. Imagine me saying the word strangely and trying not to laugh) , with the driver's seat turned the other way so that it can face the front. It's really quite weird.

Oh, Pirika, I feel your pain. I've been in a million plays and musicals, and every time I have to have someone tell me how much I sucked, or I feel tall.

Yay, ramen! Of course, she'll be throwing up said ramen before she can digest it (If she's randomly bulimic. I bet she is.) , but that's not the point.

Yes. Ren is extremely attractive, isn't he, Pirika? Well, you two live in the same dimension. YOU WIN THIS TIME, DAMMIT!

Hee hee. I assume in this, Bailong is not seventeen years dead? 'Cos if he was, they'd all see Jun as a voodoo necrophiliac with green hair. Y'know, that brings me to another point. Are Lyserg and Jun related? I mean, it's hard to get naturally green hair, even if it does run in the family, and especially if it doesn't. Was Jun kidnapped at birth or whatever? Seriously. Think about it.

'Kiss the Cook and you DIE'? Best. Apron. Ever. I just have a blue one that says 'Sushi in the Sky with Diamonds', which is a bit cheesy if you ask me. Oh well. It's an apron. I wish mine was like Anna's, though...

See, both Anna and Ren are very bad at comforting people. I find it funny to watch. Read about. Whatever.

Yay! Typewriters! Again, as I have previously stated, I really want a typewriter. But they're expensive. And heavy. So I just have to work with my mother's lappy, which I also have to share with her. Because it belongs to her.

Wow. That's a good metaphor. Mind if I steal it? WELL TOO BAD I'M GOING TO! How does that feel? (GLaDOS quote. Love you really.)

Anyway, I intend to continue writing reviews for you, so don't think you'll be getting any rest! I'll continue to remind you until...until...something...happens. Like the end of the story! Yeah!

...

I'm going to be depressed when this story ends...

Oh well. Until next time!

~Mari

P.S. This is my longest review yet. So far, it's more than 4k characters. That's win. ^^

Why do you not have more reviews?!

I love this story. Seriously. I've been in the SK writing circles for a long time (I mean a really, really, ridiculously long time) and I've seen plenty of attempts at writing an AU high school story. This is the first one that I've genuinely enjoyed. Your writing style is relaxed and funny, and the character interaction is spot-on. I also like that the story is presented from Tamao's point of view; personally, I find her difficult to write, and it's fantastic to see someone delve into her character.

So yeah. Adding to favs, adding to alerts. Anxiously awaiting the next chapter! Rock on!

pretty interesting story so far, most excited to see how things work out with that whole pirika ren lyserg jeanne dynamic. cant wait to see more from you

Time to review! ('Cos I'm nice like that. Hey, it made you write last time. XD)

I love this chapter. It made me laugh all that much and more. It's official. We're engaged. Now I'm just going to flatter you for the next 9.5k of characters that I have. Which is a lot. In case you didn't know. Which you probably did. Because you have to be pretty smart to write a chapter like that.

Starting right at the beginning...Yeah, Ren can have some pretty cold stares. His normal ones wouldn't quite gain up to Anna, but I can see how this would be an exception. I wonder if he realizes that he likes her yet(Because he so obviously DOES). Man...I wish I had a typewriter...but no, they cost too much or something. They're also almost impossible to get where I live. BUT STILL! Oh, yeah, I like the subtle hint of Boris in there. Oh...and you made me want to eat barbecue. When we didn't have any. TORMENT!

Man...I am so happy I'm out of school right now, or just the reminder of how hard it is to get back and ready for school would send me into The Jibblies. You know something else that gives me The Jibblies, though? The image of Ren singing. JibblyJibblyJorbbly. I don't think Horo would be that bad, though...certainly the Japanese voice actor is good(No, I'm not kidding...go on Youtube sometime and look up Horohoro~against wind).

Wow, Joco(I call 'im Chocolove) reminds me of myself. Sort of. Not really. But he seems like someone I'd totally hang out with. Too bad he's like a million years older than me right now(two months 'till freshy! I'll never make it!). Which makes me sad. But yeah, that bit with Joco was pure genius. I wish I had that swively chair right now...

Man, if I were Tamao, I would have quit job as advice collumist right now. With questions like that...especially the grammatically incorrect caps-lock abuse(I'm the head of the Poice. Grammar Police. That would just about kill me).

Yeah, Kanna had that coming. Horo would make a good village idiot, though. More and more I see the striking resemblance between the two of us. Too bad I'm not a fan, or I'd be like squealing. Or something.

Ren's gotten horribly paranoid ever since he met Pirika. This is horrible. Good thing he remembered to bitchslap Lyserg. If he Pimpslapped him, it wouldn't be nearly as awesome. I kinda wish I had enough makeup to retouch it nineteen times. I could probably only do it once or twice. Maybe more with the eyeliner pencil. Maybe. Pirika got powned, though. Ren has ownership rights now. Go, Ren! Go!

And that is why Ryu is hilarious.

Oh, Lord. If Tamao has Horo's notebook...Horo...has...Oh, Lord. I was Thinking Horo'd have his real name in his notebook(Horekeu), but...that's not really his style, I suppose.

I watched Mean Girls once, but I only saw the second half of it, so I didn't. Sorry. It might've been in the second half, but...I wasn't really paying attention. I was like nine or something. -_-

Yeah, now I'm just gonna throw a few suggestions at you, because my love only lasted like 4k instead of 9.5k. Maybe I should drown myself in chocolate and ice cream. Actually, that wouldn't be so bad, if only I didn't have to die. DAH! I'm rambling again! Must stop!

I think Tamao would be likely to try and not read the journal, but eventually do it anyway. Horo has less shame, so there might be less struggling in his opinion, but he'd probably feel guilty.

A few more advice emails. They're fun.

Oh, and now that Lyserg is officially and **, I think Pirika might start watching Ren. You know, so his efforts weren't for naught. 'Cos it's cuter that way. Squee.

Well, that's all I got. Write more soon, please. Or I'll gut you like a Cornish game hen.

~Mari

I wasn't going to review, but I noticed you're lacking a bit in the review department, so I decided to do so. So...here it is. Boom. Um...

I could do with seeing Jeanne more. She's only appeared once, so I'd like to have her appear again. I miss her. (She's my favorite character, though, so naturally I'd be biased. Whatever.)

Interesting that you'd make Pirika one of those girls who's super popular. She seems more like one of those spazzes who people tend to avoid(Like me...). Still, again, not my decision. I think she's funnier this way.

Oh, and I think I could do with more of Hao's team appearing. You know, the Hanagumi, the other members of the Hoshigumi...all that jazziful jazz. Or maybe the X-laws(You know, as teachers).

Anyway, despite the size of my comments, I like your fanfiction a lot. If I didn't, I wouldn't even try to help you out. Anyway, I usually talk a lot more in my reviews, so 1-2k characters is a really small amount. And listen to me, I just keep talking. I'm gonna stop now, before I use up all my characters.

Say, you celebrate Christmas? You should have a Christmas party or something in the December chapter. NO! I am SHUTTING UP!

~Mari

-

You should eat a waffle. You can't be sad if you eat a waffle!