So I was sitting here reading a perfectly normal story (so I thought), then things go south in a REAL BIG hurry...I couldn't help but think:

"I'm 12 years old and what is this?"

Very nicely done. Kudos!

And there it goes over my head.
It'd be funnier if it was one of Keitaro's friends.

It made me chuckle. Good Job and thanks for the story.

Why you chose Love Hina for this is totally beyond me. Except for the names and location, they are nothing like the characters from Love Hina.

And as for gallows humor, you need to work on it. I couldn't see the humor through the idiocy.

hilarious...more more more

this was realy funny.

The hell?

In any case, a good read for a few laughs. Although what came out of me was more of a disturbed chuckle. Judging from the range of genres you've worked on, I must really say you're a very flexible writer.

On the David Carradine angle, I didn't notice it a first until you mentioned it on your notes. Come to think of it, his passing was a pretty weird one too.

Cheers!

Good Stuff. Rather psychotropic - you have to wonder what Keitaro was smoking/snorting/drinking before he went to bed. You certainly wrote the story in such a way as to allow the reader to think this was just a dream gone strange. Shinobu always getting Su's rejects was pretty funny, the Walmart line was just out there.

Looking forward to seeing your next idea, thanks for some humor!

OMG! That was *insane*... I love it!

Makes me wonder just what kind of terrors Naru or heaven help me, Mutsumi would be up to? LOL

Funny stuff.

For me the biggest laugh came at the gallows humor comment... loved it. thanks for sharing.

wat

Delightful stuff.

Very Dark Billish as well, a fitting tribute as I have met the man and as there is no questioning his acting talents, he was a weird MFer!

dennisud