Keep it up! I'm loving it!

i think wat shud happen next is... hmm... make night shut down and yeah and soshi and riiko are over and idk...
michelle

srry, but... why wud riiko adopt a 16 yr old girl, anyway? i mean, seriously, rioki is only like 5 years younger. isn't that too much for a 21 yr old to handle?

o.o nigght shut down AGAIN?! ... lol i like that.

^^ Wow. do u like soshi and riiko better or night and riiko? its so cute!

oh and i was gonna say that u should read ur story again b4 u write fanfiction...

*
Don't worry, i have a hard time criticizing! :)
~Lexi

OK I LOGGED IN NOW!

*
Don't worry, i have a hard time criticizing! :)
~Lexi

this story is really confusing and jumps round from topic to topic... she is mad and wants night they says no to him because he is married to Soshi, and doesn't try to stop the kidnappers or call the police, or even PANIC! and i never would really Riiko s the type to be so rude and mean like that to night, who didn't LEAVE her, he never woke up because he FELL IN LOVE WITH HER!

that's not fair!
its like you just repeated the last chapter & it was SUPER short!

You need more development & description- surroundings, looks(not necessarily clothing but that could be cool too...)

The chapter could have gone like this maybe:
Riiko woke slowly, vaguely registering everything as she groaned unhappily at her sudden sleep deprivation, her mind taking in the familiar surroundings...or what had once been familiar...
She was in her old room.
It was dark but light from the high street lamps outside filtered through her curtains, letting her see the silhouttes of what she'd once known.
There was her old nightlight by the door...
There was her favoutite rock group poster on the ceiling...
There was Night...in her bed...
What the-
"Night?"
Riiko's brain went into panic mode and she sat up, waking her companion.
She was greatly relieved, the realization that they were both fully clothed finally sinking in.
Night blinked up at her, a small, confused smile on his face. There was something else too...
Love.
Riiko's heart clenched, her mind reminding her of what she felt for this man...this figure...and what she felt for Soshi...
Soshi.
"Night! Where's Soshi?!"
Or something like that. You could describe word for word what you would do in that scenario if it were you...your feelings, your thoughts...

Are they still old or did the machine make them younger? What is soshi thinking and feeling?
these could help people relate to the fic more...

Hope I haven't offended you or anything...you're an awesome writer


Onward with the review:I love your plot! HOW THE HECK COULD YOU BE OUT OF IDEAS?!
*sigh* not fair *pouts*

oh well, PM me if you like...I'll log in after this (I might have a few ideas you could use)

i like ur story. riiko torn por thing she had a dead guy and a live guy now the dead guy is alive oh boy lol

err...NO I love Absolutte boyfriend but you just ruined it! I mean come on! Night should be with her! >:[ . Ohh aand tthere is soo much kissing and less storyline and details..

this story is weird in the coolest, best way...yeah, not too sure exactly what that means, but it's deffinetly a good thing. & i'm slightly addicted to this story...not gonna lie. AND i REALLY want her to end up with Night! & i would give a suggestion on how to do that but i can't figure one out just yet. Can't wait till the next chapter!! ^_^ <3

wait...so night gets to live and riiko dates soshi? You can't really end it here? They ARE stuck in the past...
can't night fall for another robot? Or a riiko clone or something?
hm I got nuthin...
oh well, good job
ja ne
riz

Um, I'm just about 9 so please don't swear that much. (Although you DID rate it "T") Anyway, it was weird, awkward, but I liked it, good job!

...

NIGHT?!