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Reviews for: Elysion - Page 1 of 16
The Qing
2009-12-06 . chapter 42
Well, that was one hell of a ride I can tell you that.

Everything was true to the original material, especially the dialogue and personalities of the characters; different enough to be exotic, but ultimately familiar enough to be accurate.
Naoto's intellect ultimately working against her as she begins to question the need and authenticity of friendship was a harrowing regression that played in direct contrast to Mitsuru's emotions which though the driving force for her scheme (despite the fact you made her pitiable enough to make it look more like a very desperate gamble) have rendered her blind and susceptible to the very abominations she fought so hard against.
Souji and Yosuke's misadventures were excellent comic relief in a story that would otherwise fully embody the Suspense/Angst label you put on it, and I doubt I've smiled so much during such a dark read.
All in all, the emotions of the cast were incredibly balanced and dynamic, just like in the source material, making this feel like a completely legitimate, and canon escapade.

What I especially loved was the length of your chapters. In those even, medium-sized bursts, I was able to get a tightly constructed piece of action that left me satisfied, but ultimately craving for more of that sweet Elysion nectar. (this being a mythological rather than innuendo-laden metaphor) My only regret is that, with them being produced in such rapid succession if the astoundingly short gap between your publish and completion date is of any indication, you may have shortened the life span that this story had on the first page of the category, and thus allowed it to be buried under later stories far too quickly. Luckily for me, I was pointed to it by a very, very justified FanFic Recommendation (in that your story justified the recommendation to incredible levels!) and thus spent hours blasting through it! Still, I wish I could get the word out more, this is a fantastic story, and definitely deserves more reviews...


Plotwise I have to say that you provoked some very powerful reactions in my person. The death of one of SEES's members, and such an undoubtadly adorable one at that, made me, and probably everyone else realize, that death was a very real, and possible outcome for any of the protagonists/antagonists. I had my fingers crossed the whole time that my favorites wouldn't, and had to hold my breath during some of the more tense moments. The search for the lost character's (the first arc I like to call it) served as the impetus for my initial mega-sitting as I was genuinely, very, very worried for everyone.

The little moments where the Investigation Team, simply brainstorms or travels would have been grating to someone so eager to see how everything plays out, if it weren't for the fact they were done with so much polish. While not providing as much plot as the sections with the disparate remnants (God, it's depressing thinking that) of the SEES, they served to remind us that unlike or moreso than it's predecessor, that Persona4 was a game very much focused on people. While the SEES had to traverse the same dismal tower in lieu of advancing the story and all heading towards some vague goal of stopping the Dark Hour, the bizarre and oftentimes embarassing dungeons the Investigation Team explores are infinitely more personal (heh, subtle pun, okay, maybe now, not so much) as they were spawned out of a character's mind, replete with desires and insecurities and were explored for the simple (well compared to P3's epic journey) act of saving another person's life and stop a maniac from hurting others (ala Persona 2), though it evolves into something much, much bigger.
You were never really required or altogether enticed by the plight of the SEES, as you couldn't form (though you can in the P3P version...as the utterly adorable female protagonist) social links with all of them (you look elsewhere for the Emperor, Magician etc.), leaving their problems to ultimately come out during the plot (Akihiko's brotherly concern for Shinjiro, Junpei's budding romance with Chidori, Ken's quest for vengeance). If you were intrigued by them from the start, then you were golden. If not, well, bad luck. The Investigation Team's problems form a bond with you outright as you are given a brief taste of who they are, get to fight their dark sides, and help them accept this side. One is encouraged to get to know these people even further, not because they are consisten enigmas, but because there must be more to them. As they have beared (pun!) it all to each other from the get-go, they are much more at ease with one another and don't have to put up facades of normalcy, or what they believe to be more appropriate guises. (Yukiko reveals her inner hyena, Kanji's compassion never overstates his easily provoked temper [[loved his threats to Yosuke here]], Rise can indulge in perky mannerisms she is comfortable with, etc.) These various flavors clash, bump into each other, oftentimes accuse one another of something or the other, but ultimately accept it all, and are better for it.
This is a very speculative way for me to explain why exchanges between the Investigation Team's members are much more civil and friendly than the distrustful and oftentimes strained angst, dipped verbal bouts between the SEES'.
Of note, you made the mistrust the groups had for each other palpable, with the twisted interactions between the SEES and the concerned dialogues of the Investigation Team producing a funhouse mirror of jollies for whomever is familiar with both teams.
However, I must commend you for your near, NEAR, it better not have been an alternate ending or anything because I don't even want to think about it, killing off of a very important member of the P4 cast in the climax. As relieved as I was that it never happened, and as angered as I was that it almost did, the team contemplating the possibility that it could have happened provides a tether to the SEES (or what's left of it) , a common emotion, an empathetic response to a group of people who's dysfunctions make them too different to associate with otherwise. After all, both teams do not seem to know, or don't want to acknowledge that the other had previously saved the world, a wonderful ice breaker if I may say so, and act rather cold as a result. (The SEES see the Investigation team as a bunch of inexperienced upstarts, and the Investigation Team associates the club with instigating the whole misfortune to begin with.)

The chronology of events was another plus, that had to be the worst two weeks in their entire lives, though they won't have to worry about crap like that happening in a few years. Everyone knows that when you becoming an adult, your chances of being sucked into a world saving plot in a JRPG go near zero...Unless that punk kid with spiky hair, or your own offspring suck you back in that is.

The romantic subplots of the tale were a nice touch and added a bit of contemplation to an otherwise altogether wrapped up finale. Will Chie admit to her Tsundere tendencies? Will Yosuke get Kaori back? Is Souji going celibate or something? What of Kanji and Naoto? These however were ultimately trappings you placed to enhance the overall experience and thus their denouements weren't necessary to the ending. Instead you made us wonder the possibilities above while not souring the mood with loose ends, as you safely tucked us into our covers with a fantastic and satisfying ending.


Slight Criticism toward the lack of the Velvet Room, I'd like to think that Elizabeth would have something to say about Kirijo's plans. Akihiko's ultimate (that is, nonexistent) allegiance was a bit grating, but at least the other character's recognized how annoying it was.


To lighten the mood I'm going to list things that can't really be fully analyzed, but I nonetheless enjoyed:
Junpei and Chidori Married: I was so damn happy when I saw Chidori come back to life, and knew in my heart that they'd somehow become a couple, and was very upset that no one seemed to capitalize on this possibility in any of their fanfics. Their accurate portrayals were just icing on the already rich cake you made with my name on it.
Elysion: The place is almost a parody of the newly redeemed TV World, incredibly beautiful, but ultimately as treacherous as a siren's song, and as deceitful as a Carnivorous White Lotus.
The Graveyard: It wasn't something sacred with ominous tombstones or statues. It was a dumping ground, a landfill, a place so undignified for such precious and unique beings that my disgust and revulsion threatened to overwhelm me. It's not that I liked it, or how it made me feel, it's just I was amazed at how it could play with my emotions like that.
Aigis's Fate: So abrupt, so brutal, so without ceremony. The worst kind of fate there is, and you made sure to remind us.
Logic Bomb: Said it in a review and I'll say it again, great job on how Naoto handled the homicidal androids. Look up the Venture Bros episode "Return to Malice" for a much more strange, but equally hilarious logic bomb.
Why the sockets?: Souji says it best, and I just went along with it. Not that I minded at the least.
The Sickle: Scared the hell out of me, and reminded me how lucky I was not to be Souji Seta. Aesop-If you get a dorm cheap, chances are, it has a gateway to a hellish inferno someplace.

So there you have it, my review of the whole she-bang. I figured you would appreciate something like this moreso than a bunch of obnoxious, sometimes spoilerific, loud, brief and seldom pop-culture riddled one sentence exclamations of what was so damn fine with this story. And since I made one for almost every chapter...yeah. Thank you, this story was an exemplary read, fun and heartrending from start to finish, and I only hope that this review does it justice, and manages to acknowledge and exalt at least most of the effort and creativity that made it all possible.

The Qing
2009-12-06 . chapter 41
Whoa.
The Qing
2009-12-06 . chapter 40
The aggravation I supressed when Akihiko attacked Naoto dozens of chapters ago has come back full force, bastard can't make up his damn mind, while the pity I tried to stiffen for dear, old, deranged Mitsuru has bloomed into a billion heartfelt carnations of sympathy at her...Persona-fication, gruesome my friend, not to say it isn't gripping!

And Naoto has an intervention at the worst possible time, yet I can dig it.

Congratulations on making my emotions see-saw like Nintendo stock (circa 2009).
The Qing
2009-12-06 . chapter 39
The plot thickens, and you only have three more chapters to wrap this whole thing up.

All in all, I love the little touches you put into this fic, managing to retain all the character's old habits and personalities (of note, Junpei's slight aggression towards the Investigation Team's "Leader", no doubt remembering his days as second banana) while still having them come off as fresh and exciting, dangerously new circumstances notwithstanding.
The Qing
2009-12-06 . chapter 38
Take about emotional rollercoaster, one minute you've got the SEES finally take it to that cheap knockoff with copious amounts of gore and violence (who knew Diarahan's could be so creepy?) and the next, you've got piggyback rides and overprotective hat guardians.

Wonder if Naoto will burn that hat once she realizes where it's been...
The Qing
2009-12-06 . chapter 37
Way to dodge reversing those arcanum Souji, would have done the same thing in your place.

Would've just picked that choice during that event flag. Yup.
The Qing
2009-12-06 . chapter 36
Wait, what happened to that blonde ghost in the end?

Funnily enough, trash can lids were the only things Kanji didn't use in the actual game! Funny that?!
The Qing
2009-12-06 . chapter 35
To be mourned so trivially, and by those who knew her on the most cursory of levels, the death of a doll, a most awful and profound fate.
The Qing
2009-12-06 . chapter 34
Greek God vs. Trash Can Lid.

Can't wait.
The Qing
2009-12-06 . chapter 33
Mrs. Amagi and cops...how delightfully pedestrian.
The Qing
2009-12-06 . chapter 32
Dang, well, that escalated quickly.

Nathan: Brutal.

Oh, you're still here?
The Qing
2009-12-06 . chapter 31
Hear to help convey this review is Natan Explosion from the animated series Metalocalypse, and front man for Death Metal band Dethklok. Nathan?

Nathan: Great song title. GOD BUSTERS!

The Qing: They ain't afraid of no gods!

Nathan: Dude, no, just, no.

The Qing: Well there's goes another shot at virtual fame.
The Qing
2009-12-06 . chapter 30
How could you balance such horrible sorrow, with three dudes trying not to fall off a cliff by gyrating?

It ain't right!

But it works.
The Qing
2009-12-06 . chapter 29
Truer words have never been said Sou-oh god, I can't believe, ugh, but it's true.

Bancho Trap!
The Qing
2009-12-06 . chapter 28
I'm running out of adjectives to describe your work, so here goes:

(Insert flattering, word here) character interaction!
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