Hmm, nice chapter. A tad short but nice. Please update soon! :)

Are you going to update this?

Okay, I'm up to date on the story. Now for the casual reader it's fine as is. I'm casual since it's been years since I played the first and I never really got to play the prequel. I just love how a good novel fleshes out characters.

For the nitpicky...try to describe your weaponry a little more since we all don't remember the specifications of them. I mean I remember the eight round magazine and small profile of a Falcon 2 but the rest of us may not. Not to mention half of the weapons you've mentioned are likely in (Perfect Dark Zero) or original. That and Jonathan was self described a master of the DY.357 Magnum revolver and probably wouldn't carry a Falcon 2 unless it were suppressed since a magnum revolver does not suppress. (unless you cover that later)

For the story? I like the character of Joanna. Impulsive, brash and impressionable. A believable girl in the late teens, early twenties. Moody and unstable but lethal in an eyeblink if you say the wrong thing. I'll be watching for updates cuz I spent hours playing the game and truly loved it. Hope you do the game justice some more because you are on the right track.

Wow! It's hard to find an author who appreaciates what they're writing. I did notice a few little typos, but your descriptions are flawless. I can really picture what is going on. You've given me a new perspective on the characters in Perfect Dark. Good job!

Not bad at all-I personally think that this story has greatly enriched the main plot.

Wow, you update fast. Still good, great tension, but I did notice a few weird typos. Other than that, the writing's great.

Huh. Very well written. I'm afraid I haven't much to go on from that- I never actually played the game, just watched others, and I remember little of the plot. But, if nothing else this is a well-written adaptation, which is rare of itself. I can't wait for the next part.