I like how everyone was in character...

It made me smile

Awesome! Great fic! Poor Matt :( Even though NearMatt freaks me out, I liked it. :) Nice job!

Aww, this was really sweet! I've always liked Matt's defeatist quality - knowing and admitting (at least to himself) that he's a lapdog, that things will fail, etc., and being rather apathetic about it - and this shows that very well. I like Near in this also. He can be tough to pin down, but with this light touch it works out nicely, and I could certainly see him doing exactly this. I don't know why you say you can't portray others' characters properly; I think you did very well here!

On a general note, I like the little-flashes-of-scenes-with-multiple-time-jumps style (and wish I knew an actual name for it). The only real critique I can give here is that, since this style doesn't involve much description, you might try throwing in minor sensory images to make it more vivid for the reader. At the end, the line "with blood dripping out of him and staining the pavement" is a good example of that. It's simple, but it's something that sticks in your mind. It doesn't have to be just visuals, of course. It could be a rotten smell, a grainy texture, just anything that brings the reader more into the scene. _

That is by far, the most epic disclaimer I have ever read. The fic was chill to though, good job.

aii me this is cute! threewayyaoi time!