Great story! The drama is so intense it feels like I'm watching a movie version of Batman Beyond.

I haven't really read much BB fandom in a while (only checking in for updates on stories I'm currently reading) but I'm glad I found this one.

I love overprotective Terry, makes me think of my own crazy brothers.I love your o.cs. They have a Batman/Catwoman vibe going on and it is great.

P.S Max's been awfully quiet and I really look forward for more of her. I love her fiesty attitude and not letting Terry boss her around about her choice of friends. (it's not bb unless max sticks her nose in everything :-) )

Keep up the good work and update soon. Can't wait to see what happens next.

"Once back at the batcave, Brace frowned at Terry..." Brace=Bruce

That is the only error I noticed. This chapter seems to have gone pretty smoothly. I enjoyed it. I'm curious as to how it is so easy for the whole Chaos being a thief and Angel being spliced being so easy for each other to handle. I definitely want to read more and find out what happens.

"I feel bad making both you and our friend playing babysitter all the time..." Playing=play?

"...I don't want to you leave..." thinking that to and you are switched out of order

This chapter had very few mistakes in it that i noticed. One thing i felt was that the attitude Chaos held towards Angel shifted too quickly and i think maybe there should have been more of a transition there. Other than that the story line was well written. I will be reading the next chapter for sure.

This chapter from the beginning started to read off a little chaotic and fast paced. Things were being a little rushed in the beginning. You got a meaty chapter, but scenes here seemed a bit jumbled together. When I am read you tell where the gaps are. I am surprise that Chaos was able to discover that she was the angel of that night, but it seems like the personality of this character would be able to put her reaction and what he knows together. After the scene with Batman and the thief things returned to a slow but steady pace. I like how Arianna is planning to created her own kind. It’s starting to get interested and with Chaos floating around its hard to tell who you can trust her.

Selverwulf
Member of Reviewers Kingdom

This chapter was written well the description and imagery was rich enough to see everything that was going on, but the dialogue seemed somewhat rushed. It also became chaotic while I was reading it. I am not really going into the grammar as you know that I am not good in that area. I think this chapter might need a little work more and this of course in just a suggestion. Its how this chapter came off while I was reading that really stood out.

Selverwulf
Member of Reviewers Kingdom

‘Chaos was sitting alone in the corner table’ this description for Chaos in this chapter really allows the reader to see that he doesn’t like to crowds. I was surprise to find out that Chaos is ability to walk through walks. It was completely unexpected. I am not really familiar with Max, but the description and dialogue here makes it really easy to she’s feisty. Uh oh! You always find prefect moments to throw Chaos and Arianna together. You were able to show the conflict that Chaos has with himself over his feelings for her. The scenes in the chapter just flowed one into the other and it’s very intense and emotional.

Selverwulf
Member of Reviewers Kingdom

Shouldn't Offensively be Defensively in "Who's side are you on?" he asked offensively. ? "Glad you see you can listen." Glad to?
Many things had been his mind, Many things had been ON his mind?
Through I doubt he knows what I'm doing. Through=though?

Other then those mistakes, I thought it was very well written. I am going to read the 3rd chapter for sure. The updates are very quick, and I very much enjoyed this chapter.

The characters seem very well made, they each have very interesting personalities. The story style and plot line seems to be going well for the first chapter. There were a few spelling errors, so this should be edited again. I had no problems with this chapter, I thought it was a good beginning. It sounds interesting and I would like to read more.

The simplest of the description in the beginning of this story has been written so well that it made it rich with imagery without drowning it. I haven’t really gotten around to reading much of Batman Fanfics but this one draws me in and makes me want to see how it turns out. The raw conflict between Chaos and Angel sets the scene for curious to arise, waiting to see whether this hostile is going to continue on between these two. I like how you switched between scenes; you keep you smooth pace and avoid stumbling into it. You gave enough description to breathe life into your characters as you introduced each one of them. The conflict between you two characters Chaos and Angel set the foundation for you plot. The dialogue was very smooth and nature. All in all it was a very good read and I look forward to the next chapter. As for errors I am not really good at grammar so I am not going to embarrass myself. Everything flowed so well that I don’t really have any suggestions to give. Welcome back!

Selverwulf
Member of Reviewers Kingdom