When?

Okay. The dialogues need to be in a different paragraph, and some are missing quotation marks. Story's good though. I'm hoping to see more!

Hmm. Idea is fine, and the name 'Left 4 Duty' actually makes a lot of sense when you think for a moment. But! The dialog is much more attractive in a "Where is the goddamn LZ?" Gaz ranted. Rather than the Gaz: I just threw up blood.

Also, there's no background, or a timeline, so it doesn't flow really well.

Anyway, I wish you luck.

Seiichi, iShunpo

It seems like youve got a good story idea going on and Im intrested in seeing how the rest of the story goes. As adivce, maybe get more descriptive of certain parts it just seems alittle bit faced pass but other then that its pretty enjoyable so far.

Okay you did pretty good

But the script format isn't too good for stories.

It's a start. but why is the dialogue made like that?

just an example:

Price: (Insert dialogue)

In think it should be like this

Example:

"Insert dialogue" Price said.

All and all that was a very good start