I really liked this story...you did a great job of just putting forward each boys POV. I liked how conflicted Sam was and also how part of him realized what he had done and that he had chosen a demon over his brother. So very sad imagery of both the boys driving away from each other each thinking essentially the same thought...nicely done.

I've been trying hard to avoid Season 4 fics, since the season itself gave me ample depression and angst to last a lifetime, LOL, but I was so stoked to see you'd written a new story that I had to check it out.

This was really painful, to see the boys so at odds. Truly inspired, though, to notice the detail about the amulet and its significance (I confess, I watched that scene with my eyes mostly closed, it was just unbearable).

This was really profound: "The weight of it against his skin, tucked under his shirt, had felt like the weight of the world."

"...he’d given up the one thing he truly had left in the whole world to follow a demon. Because that’s what he was doing. He was trusting Ruby, trusting her version of things, over his brother’s." It's sad that Sam realizes this, but that doesn't stop him from continuing to do it. At least you show that he did it, in large part, to save his brother.

"Dean’s screams as he was ripped to shreds, the dull emptiness of his gaze as Sam had cradled his broken body, that should have been the worst image seared into Sam’s consciousness." And this was just heartbreaking. That now Sam has even worse images/sounds to deal with.

"He knew he probably wouldn’t survive but that didn’t matter, because the important thing was that Dean would." *sniffle*

This was just bittersweet and so heartbreaking: "His brother might never forgive him, even once he was gone, but Sam held onto the hope that maybe one day he’d understand. Maybe one day he’d see that Sam had been right, and that he’d done the wrong things for the right reasons. Maybe then Dean would remember him as the little brother that had given him the amulet as a symbol of a bond that couldn’t be broken, by anyone or anything. Not as the person who’d torn that bond apart with his own hands, while the very same necklace lay close enough to touch." *sniffle* Such powerful writing. Lots of emotion in there.

I like that you did the best you could to end it with a bit of hope. That's my favorite thing about your stories--they always have such uplifting endings.

I've said it before and I'll say it again--you should listen to your many friends and fans and come back to writing. Whether it's original stuff or fanfic, you really do have a lot of talent. This was very well-written, and I'd love to see you do more stories. Jean and Toby, anyone? *hopeful*

How brilliant to have you back if only for this one time. Once again you have seen something I'm sure the majority of us fans missed and for that I am grateful. I fully intend to re-watch that scene as soon as I can with the hope that your tag fills in the missing scene.
I loved this as I'm sure many more will.
Missing you and your contributions to fanfic and hope that maybe you will dip your toe in again.
Thanks again
Wends x

This was just excellent. I was so pleased you decided to share it with us. Your writing is an inspiration to me, and I sorely miss reading new stories from you. So if you change your mind, I would be oh so happy. Loved it.
Denise

Please, thank Kristi for me. You know, you’re neither idiot nor jellyfish. You’re a writer! You simply can’t ignore the great writer you have inside of you. I’m very glad you posted it. This was a sensitive explanation about Sam’s and Dean’s thoughts and feelings. I think it’s an insightful idea – I hadn’t paid attention to the amulet in this episode, but it really is a great symbol of the bond between our guys. I loved it very much. Thank you for sharing it. I’m looking forward to the next (I’m taking this fic as a symbol of hope as well).

Cool story! That was an intense episode.

What an insightful friend you have. If I were you I'd be sure to listen to her from here on out, and if she were to agree with a lot of these lovely reviewers and say that you should come back, if not regularly, than at least semi-regularly, you should give the idea serious consideration ;)

Very nice story, and I'm so glad you decided to share it with the others at this site that miss you, as well as your wonderful writing. I've said it before and I'll say it once again: You're brilliant!

This was a good story. I could really see Sam thinking like that. I think that he thought he was really doing the wrong things for the right reasons. He believed he was going to stop Lilith. Anyway good job.

Michaela,
Thanks for sharing your story with us, it was a wonderful surprise and treat.
You did an excellent job as always of showing us what the brothers are thinking.
I like your theory on why Sam stopped strangling Dean. My thought and hope was Sam couldn't kill his big brother, but yours is so much more sweeter.
Sam seeing the amulet, 'the amulet as a symbol of a bond that couldn’t be broken, by anyone or anything' - perfect.
Nice reflection from Sam as he remembered wearing it while Dean was gone. I still love to watch Dean/Jensen's face when Sam gave back the necklace, great scene.
Thanks again for the story.
Hope all is well with you and your family.

You know the boys so well. Great introspective view on Sam and Dean's hearts, and just how hard this has been on them. *Sigh* And on us.

Lovely and I especially felt so sad for Dean. He just seems to have so much to lose, so glad you showed the hope at the end.

Missed you. Well done.

sid

Wow, thanks for sharing that little but powerful story with us. Your friend was right, it was a good idea to post it.

Like someone else mentioned before, we miss your little touch over here. You have such an awesome gift for writing and I really hope you gonna start write again, one day. :)

That was beautifully bittersweet.

Please pass along thanks to Kristi for forcing you to write this and twisting your rubber arm (yup, I've got one of those, too) until you posted it.

The first time I watched WTLB, I wondered what made Sam stop strangling Dean. When he attacked Bobby after escaping from the panic room, he cold-cocked him with the shotgun, but made no further attempt to hurt him. Of course, then, he was running on fumes as far as demon blood goes. When he attacked Dean, his tank had just been refilled *shakes fist at Ruby* so it, rather than Sam, was calling the shots (at least that's how I choose to see it.). I LOVE the idea that the amulet was the trigger that allowed Sam to regain control.

What you wrote fits so neatly too with the devastated expressions on each of the brother's faces in the opening shots of Lucifer Rising as each deals with the ramifications of what just transpired between them.

Lovely introspection. Makes the double clutch at the end of LR worth 10 times as much.

Thank you.

Cheers, Sculls

Michaela, you have still got it girl. That was so achingly sad, it did indeed bring tears to my eyes.
How observant of you, to notice that little detail - Dean's necklace next to Sam's hands. I didn't notice that, and I'll have to go back and see. That image, as you said, is very powerful. I too have to wonder if it was intentional or not, cause that's so heartbreakingly ironic.
This particular scene still haunts me - it's just the worst possible thing I can think of, the boys fighting each other, how close Sam came to killing Dean. This tag really got into their minds, and I applaud you for how well it is written. There's no need to worry about people liking it, it's amazing, and I loved it. It's been a long time, and like I said, you've definitely still got it. :) I really enjoyed that. Nice one.
~Meghan

I love it and im thrilled you shared it with us. was pleasantly suprised to see an alert in my inbox!! I think you wrote it perfectly from both boys. I truly believe sam thought it was the only way to save dean... bless those sweet boys. is it to early to start a count down to season 5 premiere?!

Awesome tag hon. Again you gave us what Kripke didn't, an insight into both boys feelings after their confrontation. Inspired touch using the signifcance of the amulet, both for Sam and Dean and it also gave a flicker of hope to both boys. Despite the violence of their fight my heart broke when Dean uttered the same words their dad had used when Sam went to Stanford but your tag eased that. And thank you for being unbaised with your story as I know you are a die-hard Dean girl but you got totally how I imagined Sam would be feeling.
So glad to see this alert in my inbox and thank you to Kristi for making you post it! I know you have retired from writing but I would still love to see a final instalment in the Toby and Jean series, perhaps Kristi would like to give you a nudge in that direction! LOL!
You have not lost your touch girl, and you shouldn't doubt your talent. Loved it.