kyahh...

This... is a story?

It really doesn't seem like it, you need to post this in a forum rather than posting it as a story

OHMYGOD! People make fanfics of this? I LOVVE YOU!

...normally I'm much more articultate. ]

Good job.

It sucks! No offence but it SUCKS! S.U.C.K. Okay it's not that bad but it sounds like a comentary from a kid. So for tips:

1: Make that story flow more. it's really rough but you have an out-line.

2:More descriptive words.

Didn't fancy it too much. It was from the view of Hazumu and didn't seem much like him. :/

hey i really think this is good i can't wait for you to write some more. so keep it up

This is an utter waste of valuable human time... And it should burn in hell, with its creater along with it... Te he...

Signed Fanboy

pls continue this fic. I can't wait for the next chapter

Aww, come on! It's so short! I want, no..NEED more. Poor Hazumu. This is really funny. Please write more. Renrin

I'm curious about this story... There's not much to this intro though but I can't wait for more! I've waited for ever for a KashiMashi story!X3