It's good; you're getting better with grammar and spelling. Keep it up.

This sounds intresting.

I see you removed chapter 4. Using parenthesis in fanfictions and stories is a big no. It shouldn't be used at all. Your stories need ap lot, instead of recycling every plot device you use in every single story. You always use the same bad dream sequences, the constint moaning of stomach pains and so on. DO NOT reply to this.

Please just stop. I must have read this story a million times. I know you think you are helping us by removing a story to fix it, then add it again, but you really are not making any progress and it is frustrating for the people who want to read a good, interesting, well-written story.

Look I think perseverence is great and I admire that you like to write and want to share it with people. But maybe it would help by taking a break for a while, studying other people's styles on here and in novels, and then coming back and writing. I am not saying this to be nasty, I am simply saying it to help you.

While you are certainly not the only person on here that has problems with writing, I have read a number of the reviews from your other stories and most of them are along the same lines as my above review.

Tooth Extraction don't happen like that. Have you ever had one? They use novocaine and painkillers. That kills the pain, otherwise, Mary Anne would be screaming 'Bloody Hell!' in pain. You need to do some more research, other than using a two second Google Search and find a six sentance look up on something.

Everything happens so fast paced in here. You write this last time with no changes. There are no new changes. Mixing up chapters does not make it better.

Your sentaces sometimes never make sense.

'I almost jumped plus he scared poor Tigger and was laughing.'

Tigger was laughing? Or the father? You need to make more sense in your stories. Your writing is in par with a first grader on how they write.