 Nytd 6/29/09 . chapter 1It's nice to see someone expand upon the possibility of what happened after Elizabeth storms out, especially if you ship Walsibeth.
What I would very constructively suggest is having this read by an experienced beta reader familiar with the Elizabeth movies.
While your basic scene is intriguing, you have a fair number of grammatical and especially punctuation errors in this that detract from the flow of the story and make it harder to read.
Beta readers can be infinitely helpful -mine helps tone down my rampant comma usage, and finds a few things that I miss no matter how many times I've proof read something.
I'd love to see this spiffed up and re-posted, as there are very few good fics in this fandom.
Walsingham is a strong and intruiguing character, and I like that you keep him that way even in the presence of the queen.
Have you read Intrepid Bandicoot's 'The Heart of the Leviathan'? Very elegantly written, and a fabulous look at Walsingham. I highly recommend it!
Cheers!
Nytd |