Write more

ouch, brother died huh... u should really continue this

Wow, *sniff* such a motivational chapter, update! _ T_T

Great story,but poor will Tamao live without Nagisa?

I'm reviewing Chapter 1.

The story is so sad... it breaks my heart. I'm so glad there is more to it. I'm currently going to read all there is to this so that I can get a good grasp of things. Please finish it soon.

-Irrelevent to your story-

I am amazed that I can't stay on one story long enough. I'm currently trying to get something called: "Power Kollision" up and running b/c it is probably one of the most funniest/sexiest/romantic/action stories anybody could read... why? Because of all the characters in it. All the characters from Strawberry Panic!, some from Code Lyoko and Dragonball Z... hell even the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and Kannazuki No Miko... and a lot more. Along with the two most funniest characters: Original Characters - Hunter and S.C.O.R.P.I.O.N. (I am a really good drawer and even did a Manga of a special called: "Week of the Angels") and very good drawings of Hunter and SCORPION.

I really need tips on how to stay on writing a story.

The story was going great until you decided to stick Sakura and Hinata in. Crossovers really 'only' work for humorous stories. You need to be a hell of a good writer to pull it off in a serious context, and I'm sorry to say that with your meat and potatoes style, it's just not enough.

Sorry if I'm being a little harsh- who knows? Maybe you could somehow make it work, but for future reference, if you want to do crossovers, try to do it in the framework of either yuri or shoujo animes.

The first 4 chapters were great, but I don't get the purpose of this 'preview'. Is the story gonna stray into something else?

That was a pretty epic story! A bit weird and cheesy to add Naruto characters(I assume) but good! You really need to continue it! with an avg of 2.2k words/chap that should be easy!

was there a song quote in here that I missed or was there finally not one? lol.

nice chapter. And aw, I haven't heard the song reference before this time, rats! lol.

damn, nice. Haha on the Mad World usage, that's a bit overy exxagerating and slightly off but I guess it could work!

This is pretty good. I like the Shizuma bashing (i never liked her) The Anti-Tamao is an interesting concept. Also your writing has improved greatly, Much like my own. So please update as time permits

Great stuff you got going on here. I am anxious for the next chapter. Hehehe. I'll be waiting. You are a good author and I hope it all keeps up. Liking what is going here.

nagisa/tamao!yay!update son!

I loved it! Can't wait to read more of this story. I think it was very 'on' and written very well.