Guess there are going to be lots of surprises... regarding King too, I'm sure :)

Another good chapter. Waiting for the next update.

This is really old, but if the Office spellcheck wasn't installed, it might be less of a fuss to use other programs and/or online spellchecker.

Dante is in character. He's very in character, while being older, more mature and, well, normal.
The pace is good, no worries. ^_^ The plot is intriguing, showing enough to be interesting and understandable, but also leaving enough bread crumbs to let us know that something more is buried underneath. I was rather surprised to see the first point solved so quickly, but it only gives me a bad feeling that all Dante did so far was to stomp on the very tip of an iceberg. Good work :)

Try going through the help topics to see if you can get your spellcheck to work.

This was a really good update! Descriptive, suspenseful, and creative. Keep up the good work.

Honestly? i like every chapter I've read thus far. Dante seems fairly in character to me, especially when he pulled the stunt with shooting the 'no trespassers' sign - that entire scene was very him.

The pacing seems fine to me, and so far you have me still sort of guessing at some elements of the plot - I had figured the demon knew Jess, but that was sort of pointed to by your summary. I also like Jess and King as characters - they are neither whining or overbearing OCs, and that is always a plus. Good work, and keep it up!

Great update. Sorry but I don't know Yu Yu Hakusho so I doubt you want me reading your other story. Dante looked to be in character to me, the action was good, and the mystery side is perfect- I can't wait for another update. Good job.
Btw- Please don't kill King- He's a really cool dog.

*Shivers* Spooky. Those were great chapters and I hope you write more. *Shudders* That thing is creepy. Good luck with writing this, because I could never write something like this without panicking. Seriously- You're a great writer.

It get's worse? These things never seem to be content with just one form, do they?
In terms of length, it varies from writer to writer, there's no real standard. Seeing as you already have this laid out, and can update whenever you feel like it, you could very easily stick with this length.
It's great that others are finally starting to review this. Hey, when people on the page see extra reviews, they assume the story's quality. Reviews guarrantee reviews, in a manner of speaking.
Chapter was definitely up to scratch, the giant demon with that...baby head was really disturbing, mission accomplished.
Please keep it up, and good luck,
-Joe

oh 20 words is ahrdly a lot on this sight. Stories sometime have over 250.0 words in them when they are done. You could easily double the length of the chapter or even triple it.

Yay, a reply! ^^

Oh, sorry, I hadn't noticed the new one actually o.o" Yeah, it's much better now, yet you could have even more suspense hanging in the air, make people curious :) Here, a slight modification of it:

"Comissioned by a wealthy Texas rancher to rid the area of a violent demon, Dante soon finds himself in a job far from routine... Becoming evident that there's a power play among elite 'people'... or worse."

Let me know what you think :) I just guessed the "power play" and "elite" thing because of what's already up, sorry if it doesn't match what you plan for the fic...

I still don't have an account at (might make one, now that you mentioned it), but if you want my email for contact, it's this same username (jessrangel) at , okay?

Later!
-Jess

Very good stuff and keep up it! You got an awesome thing going.

It's a really nice, flowing story. The writing is very pleasant. Loved the mystery setting ^^

Like the previous reviewers said, the summary isn't very catching, but still, this fic is going great!

Keep it up :)
- Jess

Joe:
I don't think Gromit read this yet, it's just me. We don't do things together, unless it's a fic. Watch out for "Joe" or "Gromit". Don't worry, I'll persuade him to give you a review.
And I really am glad that I'm not the only visible reader of this fic. As Dhuaine said, it's genuinely outrageous at the lack of reviews. Write a goddamn fic promising romance between Dante and Vergil and watch the reviews skyrocket. Gah. It's times like this I get unduly angry.

Ahem, anyway, you know I freaking love this fic, and it really does feel like a good mystery. Don't worry about chapter length, if you yourself are comfortable with the progress made. Rushing it will only wreck the overall flow. It's also evident that you're proficient with describing fights and gore. You really are astounding for a first-time writer (well, in the fanfic sense). Good job and good luck.
Take care,
-Joe.

I agree with previous reviewer 100%. I almost skipped your fic because of the summary, but after I got to read several paragraphs, I got totally hooked. Sadly, I can't suggest anything to make it more catchy.

I'm absolutely thrilled to learn that it's going to be like a mystery novel. I love mystery and DMC is a perfect setting for some investigating.

Your writing is top notch. The beginning was very good, clearly understandable and yet intriguing. The demon sounds scary enough while still being in tune with DMCverse (hard to do when players get to fight colourful puppets in the game...). Keep up the good work!

Btw. The lack of reviews is outrageous.

You're spoiling me. Two chapters in one day.
Anyways - you know what I think, excellent writing style, bladdy blah, and now good characterisation is added to the list. Good job.
However, I'd try and slow down the update time. If you have an update ready, wait until your story isn't on the main page anymore - wait until other stories fill the list, THEN update. Gives your story maximum exposure, you see, meaning more readers and reviews. I believe your story was only a couple of stories down from the top of the list last time I saw it.

I also find it hard to believe that this is your first story. But, surely you're not new to writing? You've been in essay contests, short story contests, etc.? Or even just drabbles on your PC? Your writing style is too developped for a first-time shot.

As for a summary, ehh...
"Dante finds himself in rural Texas, tracking down a nameless demon. Yet the job is far from routine, and it seems that the foe was planted by an enemy - or a friend"
That's probably worse than what it currently is, but it's your call. Try and put a little suspense in there, it's always good bait.

All the best,
Joe

Joe:
Don't put yourself down, I found this to be an excellent opening.
The writing style, and the level of detail are all brilliant, as is the dialogue. You've got everything you need to make this perfect. The enemy described is interesting and unique enough to make you genuinely wonder and worry what it is, especially considering what it did to the livestock - suitably disturbing stuff.
My only criticism is the synopsis on the main page - the whole rancher setting is unique, but the rest of the synopsis does not entail anything that hasn't been tried again and again and again. Your story is far too good for it, and I think most of the people who would fully appreciate this would be put off by the rather mundane description.

No worries though, content wise, this is excellent, and I can't wait for more.