 In the Shadows I Dwell 2009-08-13 . chapter 1This was really interesting. I always imagined how Isabelle would react to the Faeries without the presence of the others, this gave me a great insight as to how this would actually come about. The only thing I noticed was this:
"All the cells in her body were free the blood fizzed in her veins and there was nothing in her head but joy and the glory and splendor and marvels of this and they were all in the thrall of this mindless pleasure and every atom in Isabelle was filled with delight until she couldn’t remember her name or where she was there was nothing but the dance oh the dance the seductive music ensnaring her soul and she was in its trap and she had never been more free."
The wording was perfect, however it might need some commas or full stops as it is an extremly long paragraph which may need a little punctuation to slow it down slightly. However this is up to you, I loved it never the less. |