Okay this was an awesome chapter it was kind of confusing when edward could just tell she was a she not a he but you said why later on.

This is not good. You switch POV's far too often, you defile canon with your ugly Mary Sue and blatant self-insert, and your writing and grammar sucks. You need to either delete this, rewrite this, or get a beta reader.

Good luck with revisions!

-Lover of Gone

Can't wait to read more.

This story is pretty good so far

Yes, Emett, she's very weird! Just like everyone in the universe! Some more than others! Like me! XD! Love the story!

-Love Nitrea ;)

Your OC character seems a little mary-sueish to me, an when I say a little, I mean a lot. This story in my opinion need some work.

Yours Truly,

C.A.T.M.O.L.

interesting :D

Ppl do like the story... well i do anyways could u please continue the story. its 1 of the most unique stories I've read so far

i like it ] hurry up and update!

I really like this story! :D Please continue!

update soon :)

please update

No one wants to read a crappy story where you self insert and double space everything.