wow nice start are you gonna out any races in the story?

I have a confession to make: I too wanted to write my version of what happened to Ryosuke Takahashi covering from his high school days to when he met Takumi Fujiwara but, seeing as you're doing such a fantastic job, I'll think of something else to write when I'm done with my current fic.

Moving on, there are very few things I can point out, maybe a small thing with the verbal tenses (sometimes you move from past to present tense in the same sentence) but, since it's your very first fanfiction I can only say that I'm very impressed. Please keep it up, I'll be waiting for the next chappie! ^_^

A couple of slight errors other than that. Great job!! :) I like the 2nd part when you took it out of the manga too! Haha!

UPDATE!!

well i do have tyo point out Rotary's dont have Valves. also even with money it should take atleast 2 weeks to resurrect the FC if its in the condition you speak. a Savanah Ifini will have speical seats.

I like where the story is going and im glad you spaced out the words in the later chapters

Nice update again, that was quick haha. Just a little confuse at the start weather is when the Redsuns first started or present time. Because if I'm not wrong Kenta does not join the RedSuns until Keisuke turn good and join his brother.

Other than that, just a couple of "" to look out for where you have missed.

UPDATE!

o.0... nice.. can't wait for the UPDATE!

Nice chapter.

Just a clear-up, what is Ryosuke racing in? Because if I'm right the D1GP is a drift competition. And definitely not about going in circles.

Can't wait to see the next chapter :)

o.0... Ok nice chapter and all just a few grammer mistakes and missing some of the open or close inverted stuff which I forget are call what.

UPDATE!

Nice chapter!! I loved it alot, just slightly confused with the race.

“Okay then, show me what you got”. Muttered Ruiizu A simile formed on Ryouske’s face.Fine I play your game thought Ryouske as he began to chase down the Accord. The battle rages on; on straights Ryosuke can catch up due to his large amount of horse power, but on turns Ruiizu gain more distances between them. Interesting that car has more torque then horse power. He gave even more pressure to the young racer. Feeling the glare from the intensity behind her back she kept her speed to the end. Okay the up hill may give you the upper hand, but what about the downhill? Using the Apex she improves her line to gain even more split time. Good thing I tuned the suspension can handle this or it would have been a game over. At the peak, the Accord flashed its warming lights; Ryosuke knew their little battle won’t end so soon. Ryouske is feeling a bit of a show off by using the heel-toe to down shift; brake the early and steered away form the Accord. The g-force held him back at his seat as the car slide at 90° angle. The other car did a simple braking drift. With Ryosuke in the lead Ruiizu followed him. On the first stretch of the course they were turns after turns, almost like weaving through obstacles. I hope dad’s training paid off I never thought to pull this early. Ruiizu as she let her rear slide out. Ryosuke too noticed the Accord coming closer. Hmm a braking drifts, maybe if I can mimic his techniques from the front. Ryouske gathered the data from behind and in no time at all the FC started to drift a high speed. Shoot maybe if I down the hp a little bit then I can preserve my tires longer. Hoping there is enough grip Ryosuke The brakes of the FC glowed red as the tight hairpin came along, but due to the low hp form Accord it continued on the same speed. But it didn’t affect the tires or the brakes. Ha! I knew there is a fault. I just have to wait for the finally stretch. That will conclude this race. Ryosuke knew this pass only a month ago, but the second stretch the pass will have a less slope and more straight ways perfect for the FC’s power. As the second stretch came Ryosuke had pulled a 185.78m differences causing the Accord behind him to vanish. If a regular racer is against Ryosuke they will certainly give up, but not Ruiizu kept on going knowing the FC is just around the bend. Soon the FC started to slow down as the 4 sets of hairpins loomed. Finally I got you now! Ruiizu thought. Only 3 more to go and the Accord are dangerously close to the bumper. In a desperate attempt to pull away Ryosuke accelerated to the hairpin and braked from the straight line and braked violently causing an unstable balance to move more to the left and Ryosuke counter steer to remained on the racing line. An Inertial Drift exclaimed Ruiizu. At the last one both pull off the twin drift it is very difficult especially when they as very closed together. As they crossed the finish line Ruiizu admitted defeat, she hasn’t mastered that technique and have been beaten by her own turf.

This is yours, thers a small confusion, and that it at:

Okay the up hill may give you the upper hand, but what about the downhill? Using the Apex she improves her line to gain even more split time.

At this point I suspect things at going on at the peak, as they U-turned and head for the downhill, if so Ryosuke might have caught a glipmse of the driver with his headlights flashing. And there wasn't any indication on when they had started the downhil..

But the confusing part is one minute we're on the uphill no indication whatsoever when you came to the last four or five conrners, hope you can also make it maybe seperated into 3 or 4 paragraphs too.

if you need any help in separting it I can help you if you want :)

UPDATE!!

PM me if you didn't get what I mean :)

No update?! aw, well atleast you uploaded this chapter. great job. 512/512

UPDATE!!

And you're welcome for whatever it is :)

once again, great chapter. keep up the good work! 453/453

Hi.. very nice story you have here. Just a suggestion. Maybe you want to hit enter after every sentence like this:

“Earth Ryosuke, Come in Ryosuke”

“huh… Oh hi Fumihiro-kun” said Ryouske with a fake simile on his face.

“What’s in that mind of yours? I never saw you so space out before.”

"Loads of things” he answered Not long before Ryosuke have his thoughts together again his in interrupted by Fumihiro.

“What is it this time?” He asked tiring not to sound annoyed.

“It’s trouble actually.”

“Yo Takahashi” A guy with his uniform hanging off and with short hair

“So glad you can join us Kyouichi Sudou” said Ryosuke

“Still the same cocky Takahashi I know”

"I still prefer Ryosuke” Whatever” said Sudou glaring at Ryosuke

Get what I mean?

Update!!

Just wondering, where is this roughly?