 Gloriana the Younger 2009-06-25 . chapter 1I like the side stories; it gives us an insight into what is going on with other characters in Naruto without breaking the flow of the main story.
On another note, I think that Soutou would have gained alot more interest if you hadn't started out Shinri without mentioning pairings. However, it is my belief that though you may have shot yourself in the foot when it came to traffic, it has distinguished you as a good author. It shows that the main purpose of your writing isn't to pander to romantic fantasies, which is an all too common occurrence on this site. It signifies a maturity in your writing, where the main focus is on telling a good story and developing your characters.
One thing that did make me uncomfortable in Soutou however, was the introduction of Dani. At the time I couldn't understand where this feeling was coming from, but I believe I identified the problem. It was her introduction so soon after Sakura rejected Deidara; it left me with the impression that she was there to be a romantic pairing for Deidara and nothing more. I hope this is not true and you plan to make her a significant part of the plot later, because otherwise she seems a bit gratuitous. This would be a great shame. |