The edit was much smoother, in my opinion. I liked this sotry in general. You're a great writer.

~Tori

Delete the unedited chapter please. It's confusing having both there. Why risk having someone read the unedited chapter?

I really like it.

this is much better than your other one, it made a bit more sense. thax

this is really cute, i hope it keeps devolping so positively

(: YEH!! I love love LOVE this!

awe! that was amazing! i loved it!