Honestly, this really needs to become a story! D: Not just a one-shot.. :( I really like this, and I hope you'll take my request and expand this, because this is a realy good story! :)

It's an obvious fluff. I understand the requrements for this story, but why must Malachi be so out of character? I like the concept of the whole 'heir' thing, but the characters really dumb it down by insisting on it every sentence. I also wish that the dialogue was spaced; it's grouped together so sometimes I found it hard to see who was speaking what.

All in all, not bad. Edited, it would be better :)

I't so cute!! Why do you not like it?