I thought I'd review here again since this second chapter (it's the same as the end of the first is it not?) allows me to. While I don't like the fact that the second chapter is just a repeat I can see that you edited this. Took me a minute to figure it out which must mean that you did quite a bit of editing. I read my last review and you seem to have fixed everything that I had a problem with. Nice work. Correct me if I'm wrong but I also feel like you've made it sound more complete at the end...or perhaps that's just the "Complete" sign at the top of the page that's telling me that now haha. I do wish you would continue into the morning after their wedding night but I think this piece can definitely stand alone. :)

Excellent chapter! More please! :)

I would love to read more of this!

nice story

I love it! cant wait for the next chapter!

Fabulous! Can't wait for more.

this is great! you have captured the feelings of Maria well. Cant wait for more

This is good. Very good.
I think you've captured Maria's feelings perfectly. As for the Captain's - perhaps you could expand that a little in the next part?
You're a beautiful writer and a beautiful story teller. I'm very much looking forward to the next part.

I really like it so far, you write very well and I like how you've showed Maria's nervousness and inexperience. There are a few little mistakes though. The first is that the Captain has blue eyes, not brown. Second, you should start a new paragraph every time the speaker changes from Georg to Maria or vice-versa. It'll make it slightly easier to read too. I would also go a bit deeper into the Captain's feelings for Maria. I mean, he must have thought about this night in the past weeks just as much as Maria probably has. Great start though, I'm excited for the next chapter.

Great start to your story I can't wait till you update it.

Too cute! I'm loving this look into their wedding night! Maria is really a great character and you are writing her well!

Oh, this is going to be good! I read this at work (which I shouldn't be doing, really), and I'm so glad no one spoke to me while I was reading because I was so immersed in the story that I might not have heard them! You write beautifully; you drew me in completely (and made me breathe a little harder!).

I visited your profile page...LOVE the picture you have there. I'm also a huge fan of Battlestar Galactica and miss it desperately now that it's over.

Perferct i love it.Very funny. Please continue