The first chapter was short and not really appealing. Also the summery makes it sound terrible. I just had to read it to know what it was really like. I mean how does jack not make friends until her? Have you seen his childhood in flashbacks and the premiere episodes? He had classmates and teachers who he was great friends with and then there's in the future; the scientist with the exoskeleton arm, the Scotsman, the baby, that Japanese family who made him new shoes, other people who are grateful for his help who he meets every episode like the dogs. To be truthful this sounds like a self insert almost sue-ish. This isn't horrible. Horrible would be if this was interesting at first then took the story in the direction of much ooc-ness and Mary Suedom. But it just makes it a minor annoyance, not a mistake that must be erased, you should read more outside of fanfiction for reference. If I'm right about this being a self insert you yourself are about 14, this is about what I expect so writing may still be in your future yet kid.

Gimmi more gimmi more. LOL