I do in no way intend to offend you, but I really have the urge to tell you this: Your writing is so horribly childish that I positively cringed while reading it.
Within the first sentence one can already spot some erroneous, or rather missing punctuation, and later on you have obviously forgotten to apply speech marks. At the beginning of a sentence you write that Bellatrix was at that conference, blablabla, but then, without giving any indication that the narrators are now going to be swapped, there appears an 'I' in the second half. Besides, this immature 'Mwah Mwah Mwah' does NOT belong into any professionally written story, as well as those double or triple exclamation and interrogation marks, for it merely attests your incompetence and inexperience.
I assume that you are still rather young, perhaps about twelve or thirteen years, so there is still plenty of time for you to improve your skills.
Please take my advices to heart and don't feel insulted, although I have to admit that I wasn't exactly nice in my explanations. But still, it was all well-meant, I just want to help you.

Have a good day,

Brezel

I like it! And yay! Bellatrix has fallen for Voldy.. No surprises there.
Thanks for the dedication too! It is really appreciated.
Oh, and how was your hols?

Gareth! I demand you to hurry up and start the fic. I am sure it will be amazing :)