There was a lot I just loved about this story. But it was just a touch too fast moving, especially toward the end. I could have used a bit more detail, but what you had was excellent. I loved how you worked out things between Charlie and Don and Don's introspective moment at the end was very sad and yet hopeful too.

Thanks, Beth

Nice update. I wish there was more it just was not at angsty as I thought it would be but it was ok you did good. Hope to see more stories on here from you maybe with a little more depth into teh characters.Can't wait to see what you come up with next.

Hi Whatever. The review prior to yours refers to chapter 8. Chapter 9 is the last one, not 8, so you'll have to read chapter 9 for the conclusion. If you have questions after that I'll be happy to answer them. If you don't sign in when leaving your review though, I won't be able to answer you at all because I won't know who you are or how to contact you (hence I'm posting this here!!) So don't be afraid of me, you can safely use your log in! I promise I won't stalk you! I'm not one of my wicked characters :)

I have to agree with another reviewer you left to many unanswered questions I think that you should work in another chapter or two for a story I love from teh begining turned to be a big let down.

If there is only one more chapter. I doubt you can wrap this story and all teh questions up in one chapter but we will see. But you should consider a sequel an make the chapters longer.

You have an interesting take on Charlie's mind and I love how you write Don. You have a few typos here and there, but nothing too distracting. I'm looking forward to your final chapter and hope you write another Numb3rs story.

P.S. I like the Kabbalistic references. Your use of the two pillars was very evocative. One question: You have the pillars as Gevurah and Keter. Did you mean Gevurah and Chesed? Those are the two pillars on the Tree of Life, but maybe you're not being that literal.

Thanks, Beth

Excellent update. Thanks, Beth

keep up the great work.

Wow, you certainly haven't chosen an easy subject for a first story! I can't say I like it because of the subject matter but it IS well written.
A question: What does this mean - “What about the diener?” asked Don.
And you mistake 'weigh' the action with 'weight' the object.

nice update

Our poor babies, they need each other so much right now. Believe me, siblings are what you need the most when you lose a parent. At any age.

Short, but very intense. Looking forward to more. Thanks, Beth

Is what I am reading meant to be a dream or is it really happening or is Charlie going local either way I am lost I will admit it does not take much but this is really confusing. Hope to have an upadate soon.

I missed this one great update got a little lost with the charlie scenes but that does not atake much.

This is truly an intriguing story. This journey through Charlie's mind is fascinating; but the brother of the man who killed Alan sounds really scary.

Thanks, Beth