ah you want me to detailed? glad u asked.
normally when I read something I expect something to HAPPEN but this was just a bunch of pointless, sugary oh-so-cutesy-cute family fluff with pet names that made me want to vomit.
where's the interest, where's the conflict - a fight over some dumb barbie dolls?! and why are barbies with their obviously English names in semi-rural Japan anyway?!
your 2 freaking literal too! are pro writing tools like metaphors, similes and all that jazz too scary 4 a stumbling amateur like you to use?

so in short I was very aware I was reading a STORY when I read this snore of a piece instead of being whisked away to a different world. couldn't even force myself to read it the whole way through, too tedious.
congrats on making a fic that only preteen twilight fangirls that wet their pants at the name Edward will like. I'm sure it was terribly difficult. lol XD.

Wonderful job. I hope you do well on Ramachan's contest.

Haha I loved it. I was going to say it seemed like you could've made it longer but then I saw the 'twoublesome' haha that's so cute, perfect way to end it ^^ And it was just great altogether. I have a criticism for you though: apostrophes when it's plural.

That's all ^^ Chouji and Ino's petnames sickened me! But in a good way, you know? And I love the ShikaTema banter. Your stories show the different relationships they have, you know? Overall, great story =]

it was cute. i don't really like gaara matsuri, but i still enjoyed it

Aw Very cute, You did a great job.
Lovely ChouIno^^ the petnames are adorable!

Thank you very much for your participation

besos