Fear not, for I bring you good tidings of great joy that shall be unto all people! (Or just, "I'm here to review, now!")

[a forest of canvas tents, fires, and picket lines] The imagery this gives is beautiful. I can see the sun coming up (I see it every morning on the drive to work), that bright, golden light filtering through the (maybe) sparse clouds in the sky to climb over and around the tents. I can see the new daylight slowly revealing the tents as it moves along, and I can see the tents, stretched out, the fires, the picket lines, and people waking up and starting to bustle about. Seriously, those were great words!

[the horse's blunt teeth, felt the velvety brush of his lips] Yes! Yes! Someone who writes about the horses as if they know what they're talking about. I love it. :D A lot of people forget the little things about horses.

[and he knew their power] Douglas's power, or the power of Douglas's axe? Either way, I would use [its] instead of [their]. But...I could be reading the sentence wrong. (Let me know!)

[Percival had just passed his twenty-second summer, and he knew his father by reputation, by legend - and by memory, only as a faded image in his favorite storybook. He inherited a sword and a name, and he took care of the rest. A woman would not be so lucky.] Sorry for all the quotage, but I really like this. It says so much. It's beautiful and sad at the same time. And then the last sentence, there... Percival knows that had he been a daughter and not a son, he would not be half so lucky. (I really love it when people bring male and female roles into Fire Emblem. Because of some of the cast for FE7/6, people assume it's completely normal for women to be mercenaries, but something... I just... I don't think it is, even in the FE7/6 world. Isadora, after all, had to fight her way through the ranks in FE7, and the pegasus sisters suffer the same bitter distrust that everyone feels against Ilian mercenaries (at least in FE7, and I think Fiora mentions it to Eliwood in a support conversation). Louise is an oddball, Rebecca's just a country girl, Serra and Priscilla are healers, Vaida's bitter, angry, and you can just TELL she fought hard to get where she is. And Lyn, well, you know she's strange, and she doesn't fit in. You can see it in her support conversations, especially with Eliwood. So I love that you included that one little line in this. Er...continuing...

[Percival's toe caught on a rock hidden in the grass, kicked it up, and announced his approach with a storm of white butterflies and the rattling harness of his horse when he jerked back and shook his head.] THIS. IMAGERY. IS. BEAUTIFUL.

[Who protected Mildain while he walked in darkness?] So depressing. The lines and paragraphs after it? Also depressing, but beautiful imagery again. You really have a way with words. I always have loved the idea of someone explaining the way things around them look to someone who simply cannot see them...

[They marched on the capitol today. The battle would begin when they were tired, end with exhaustion, but they were too close to wait another night.] Those words. Wow. Okay, the first sentence? I love. It's so short, so to-the-point. It's so BLUNT. But it means so much, I think. I get this kind of...almost sad, dreary, tired feeling. The second sentence is SO TRUE, and I think people oftentimes forget it when they write about FE battles. No battle is like another. Sometimes there's an ambush at night, other times an ambush at night, in the middle of the night, or even during the day. But there are also times when an attack is planned, and it's so amazing because they KNOW what they're doing, what they're getting themselves into.

Anyway, this was exceptionally well-written. I think the imagery was my favorite part. The prince's hair sliding down, then falling off the edge of the cot he slept on... The way Percival treated him with this just...immense RESPECT. Very nice.

Thanks for a fun read, and I'm sorry about the...lame review. Keep writing!

Cheers,
-Manna

Interesting chapter to read, it sounds like a very interesting story. Thank you for the link to this chapter it was really appreciated and very helpful to read. I am looking forward to your next update - chapter - with a lot of excitement and anticipation.

~Tsukiyomi No Miko~