|Reviews for Halcyon|
| Roselize 4/14/10 . chapter 1
This deserves more reviews. It's good. It's more than good. It's wonderful!
| whitehound 7/14/09 . chapter 1
Very nice indeed.
And yes, Hogwarts is a trap. It offers children a career in magic but it shuts off so many other paths, because there's so little art or academic research or even intersting manual work in their world. If you want to be an airline pilot, or a sculptor, a gardener or an expert on 14th C Chinese pottery, Hogwarts will take it away from you, by depriving you of a Muggle education and giving back very little in return. And it's doubly a trap for a poor boy with few connections.
| SkywardShadow 7/14/09 . chapter 1
That was so good. Nostalgic and very bittersweet. Well done.
| A. N. Ravencroft 7/14/09 . chapter 1
I only liked Snape at first when I read the Harry Potter books as the awesome potential villain character...book 7 changed that of course. So basically I like this "foray" you took in mapping out HP characters. I have a few things,that I noticed, that you might want to take into consideration.
Maybe I need to re-read the books again, but what does "Halcyon" have to do with Snape? Also the poem beneath the title, is that of your own doing? If not, please give credit.
Dashes,dash it all,dashes. :) I see you like to use dashes. That's fine and for the most part it appears that you are using them right but you might want to double check because I was confused about some of them.
"Childhood is ragged and free, even for boys like Severus Snape, who are trapped in walls and windows behind doors with no locks, but adolescence splays them, these children - unworldly and unwise, all awkward bones or summer dresses - into a world much bigger than the each of them, and like some tremendous catalyst forces them into contact with one, another, and everything - over and over, chaotic and inescapable, and magical."
I would break this up because it seems to be a run on sentence. Double check though please because I may be wrong.
I also notice you use "and" a lot which can deter the reader from your story.
Otherwise I believe you've fleshed out young Snape very well and look forward to seeing what you can do with him.