|Reviews for What Polly Did Next|
| Falero lero lero 6/5/13 . chapter 3
I like your story a bit
| Sanorace 10/30/12 . chapter 3
Aww thats so cute! Well written, comfortable length, believable progression, good supporting characters. It really is a beautiful story.
| Corporal Maladict 12/5/10 . chapter 3
This was at times sad, and at times very sweet. I love how you build up the romance with extraordinary patience. Nothing to complain about in this chapter at all. The conclusion was worthy of the story.
| Corporal Maladict 11/27/10 . chapter 2
Laura shut up! I don't need to employ people to do my bragging for me! *headdesk* (Sorry, that was aimed at Imladviel, she's my official creepy internet stalker but I love her anyways)
Anyways about your story: It is lovely, and well written, and has some moments approaching true Pratchett language, which is a rare achievement indeed.
One small point I would like to point out, because I am a pointy kind of person: at this time, Polly should HAVE two swords. Jackrum sent her the two cutlasses in the parcel, with the book of names. She took them with her to war. So unless something happened to them (and in that case, it should be worth mentioning), Mal should ask 'where are your swords?'. Also, knowing the character of Polly, she would know a weapon she doesn't know how to use belongs to her enemy, so she would also be at least passable in using two swords.
This, of course, would play havoc with your plot and the sub-lieutenant's presence... however I am sure a skilled writer like you could get around it.
Or just ignore me. What do I know, I write Mal/Sally so I'm probably an abomination in my own right. *grin*
| Imladviel 11/26/10 . chapter 2
This was beautiful. Just perfect. I cried a little.
Chapter 1 - Hedgehog song - that made me LOL. A friend of mine (rainbowregiment on livejournal, and as it happens, 'Corporal Maladict' on ...) - anyways, she got thrown out of a bar once for singing the Hedgehog song. In real life. I'm going to have to show this to her. *insane giggle*
I love how rich your language is. And Mal and Polly are sweet, and cute... Mal overdosed on coffee is just like I always imagined she would be.
| fledge 10/9/09 . chapter 2
Thanks for the didication, it makes me proud.
A truly monstrous chapter here, worthy of the fandom.
So what you are saying is that both of them found it hard to adapt to the rules and customs of a society that treats women as inferior, if I understand you correctly. Moreover, and this is quite paradoxical, you seem to imply that in the army, where individuality is considered counter-productive to pretty much everything, they find the opportunities to fully realise who they are, and what emotions they have been hiding from each other and themselves. The imagery - in the open county, outside of barracks and towns - stresses the idea, imho, at least. "Would you have wanted to miss those stars?" seems to me to sum it all up in a nutshell: neither in the castle, nor the tavern, there is a chance to see any stars.
In addition, Mal's statement of how she saw herself for the first time is very touching. At last she can find it in herself to let her guard down. Things must be a hundred times more difficult for her than for any human. "She thinks too much, such girls are dangerous" - but while Cassius is dangerous to Caesar, Mal is dangerous to herself.
Of course, honour is a dangerous concept, too, depending on how you define it. (Aslan's words to Reepicheep come to mind...) But I guess it is something for Mal to cling to - at least as long as she does not find a more personal goal in her life .
What I'm quite sure about, though, is that she is very wrong in saying she has "no finer feeling, no empathy". She just has not found the courage to admit it to herself. And, hopefully, this story is going to show her finally doing exactly that .
Needless to say, extremely bautifully written once again, with only a minor slip-up here and there, just bound to happen in a long piece like this one. And the humour, even with a serious background like this, is exquisite, too. Not to mention the fact that you have out-footnoted TP by a long margin.
Or existence, perhaps.
 Hint, hint...
| Part-Time Irish 10/8/09 . chapter 2
I like this story. It's the first Discworld fic I read.
| ComatosRoses 10/8/09 . chapter 2
Oh wow. I don't even know where to begin, this was just so amazing. I haven't written a fan fiction review since I was 13 (and needless to say I'm a few years older now) and I was never planning on doing so again until I read this and saw that, at the time, there were only 4 reviews. I know that the Discworld category isn't exactly bustling with activity, but it seemed incredibly unfair. Reading your story I felt like you put time, effort, and emotion into it, which is something I don't find very often on this site. The cast is kept wonderfully in character (although I haven't read Monstrous Regiment in awhile, I feel like even if I read it tomorrow I'll feel the same way) and your writing style is stylish and flowing. I really hope to read more from you (though I probably won't review - I'm very lazy sometimes and not really bright when it comes to things like this.)
| CrayonMentality 8/24/09 . chapter 1
This is pretty good, look forward to reading more! :)
| igbogal 8/3/09 . chapter 1
This is an altogether lovely piece of work, from the lyrical and witty introduction (loved the part where 'the gods of the Discworld don't play well with others') to the tender reunion at the end. It was heartwarming to see these two stalwart women let their guard down long enough to find comfort and companionship in each other. Thanks a heap!
| A.A. Pessimal 8/1/09 . chapter 1
This is good because it's realistic and conforms to the type of what women soldiers have routinely been expected to do, at least in the British Army.
From my own Army experience, I can tell you - although I suspect you may have done a little research - that women in the Atmy are routinely directed into rear-echelon jobs to do *exactly* the sort of regular administrative desk job that Polly has founds herself routed into.
It's not that long since the British Army ceased to segregate its women soldiers into a unit of their own - the Women's Royal Army Corps (no longer extant) which trained and directed women into anonymous rear-echelon and admin jobs, the idea being that every woman who could be placed in such a job freed up a male soldier to take a more active role nearer to the frontline.
I'd argue this is part of the long slow assimilation of women into the armed forces: they were only formally accepted into military service in the First World War so as to free up men for fighting roles, and fearsome restrictions were placed on what they could and couldn't so.
This was relaxed somewhat in World War Two - our current Queen, for instance, served as a vehicle driver and mechanic, an option unavailable in the previous war - but a woman could still not go anywhere near a fighting front except in very limited or desperate circumstances.
Even in my day (early 1980's) the best job available to a talented woman officer was as Asistant Adjutant to an infantry battallion - ie, she'd be an office manager with the rank of captain, processing all the paperwork. (ie, just like Polly). Occassionally you mght see a female acountant working in the Pay Corps, or a woman lawyer working with the Army Legal Dept. (Apparently, when the Church of England started ordaining women, Army regiments got the first female chaplains, but that was after my time).
I've heard it's been relaxed even more since then and women soldiers are being deployed to front-line units...
It would seem that the Borogravian Army is following this historical pattern of slowly, reluctantly, absorbing, containing, and restricting what women soldiers can and can't do, (I guess a vampire makes her own rules?) which gives your story that greater hint of realism! Well done!
Good luck with the epic - I've written one ("The Graduation Class") and while it's 95% complete and needs a bit of final tweaking, it was a bugger to write and I thought I'd never complete it. It got to 75,0 words in the end - short novel length! So put your eveneings free for the next three months to a year, depending on how fast you write... I'll be watching!
| fledge 8/1/09 . chapter 1
A really beautiful and highly promising start - I am really looking forward to the epic dimensions you are announcing. I've never understood why those stupid girls went back to the stupid army; perhaps they'll learn a lesson in your story.
And Mal teaching Polly about the stars most certainly sounds intriguing...