I really like the basic plot line of the story, and the grammar and spelling are still readable (though you might to get a beta to read it over). However, the dates are a bit wrong; Julius Root is really old, and would have never been in the same class as Foaly and Opal Koboi. Also, it's pretty much impossible fOr theLEP to have the old- fashioned uniforms as late as 1967 and Foaly and Opal are a bit too young. My last point: Do Not Ever Underline In The Middle Of The Story.

This seems interesting...but...well...you have so many little grammar and spelling mistakes that I don't want to continue on. Sorry. Get a beta. Don't underline in the middle of chapters. Use italics or bold.

Oh. My. Frond.

This is... oh...

Marcus, get a beta. PLEASE. I can BARELY read this. Good idea for the plot though. I just, well, blegh. Spelling is important. Effing important, I say! And so is grammar. The plot-holes, I can understand. Just not the rest of it.

Videri quam esse.

Avi.

Good story. Please continue soon.

Well...it was serious. But no so much in the good or epic department though. Even I spotted several grammer mistakes and the writing was confusing. Overall it just wasn't that good. I give it a 2 and half out of five.

In the Document Manager there is a button for underlining. This is used for chapter heads only. DON'T UNDERLINE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORY. IT IS ANNOYING AS HELL. Work on your grammar. Word AND Document Manager have a spell check, so that's no excuse for not being spell checked at all. This story could definitely also use work in the writing department, not just grammar.

Matt

hehe, awesome. Im glad you updated, you kept me very happy today :3

I love the personalities of root, and of course foaly. But I do find that him being friends with opal is a bit far fetched. After all the crap she put Artemis though I doubt hed trust even the baby teen version of her ;3;

On a deferent and lets ranty note (sorry about the criticism), i love love love the thought of how the LEP dress 3 Because I cant help imagine a steampunk elven underground world. filled with old train lanterns and candles(even though its futuristic still)

I cant wait for Artemis meets baby holly chappie. I can imagine itd be really sweet. Keep the great work up :3

Interesting concept. I lurve the idea of going back in time to see the old fashioned LEP. In fact i more the like it im in absolute love with it. Ive got this amazing picture in my head that just the mention of old LEP coppers in a younger faerie city makes me squee with glee. I look forward to many more chapters mon amis!

Hi! Your plot idea sounds pretty nice so far, but you need to work on your grammar. Run-on sentences abound... Keep updating! )

Extremely confusing, nigh-illegible syntax, grammar needs work, too short, and it's 'd'arvit' not 'de'vart'.

actually, it's d'arvit...

sounds like this would be a good story; work on it alright? ;),

brittney