|Reviews for A Regular Militia|
| Vandenbz 5/28/12 . chapter 9
Nice how Christian was able to contribute to the conversation regarding the origins of the Barious ruins. Definitely impressive how Christian weathered all of the problems of this chapter with a bullet in his leg the whole time! That Imperial sniper got what was coming to him by threatening to do things like that to Claudia. The fact that Christian played a critical role in destroying that tank should help his reputation when the squad learns about it. Keep up the great work!
| Vandenbz 1/22/12 . chapter 8
Nice flashback for Christian, already looking forward to seeing what happened between himself and Erna. I never liked those characters in the game who had that Darcsen Hater ability, Rosie got out of it eventually so she's good. Jane is rather amusing in how she has an interest in Christian to some extent, should be fun to see what develops there. Can't blame Isara too much for staying quiet in that incident that nearly killed Christian, she has enough problems as it is. At least she and Christian are on friendlier terms now.
Only spotted one error, 'identify' was misspelled as 'indentify'. Apart from that nothing else. Keep up the great work!
| TheChronicler08 11/18/11 . chapter 5
The pacing and description of the battle that took place is superb. Even if its just words, I could really picture in my mind what's really going on. I can't wait for the following chapters to come out.
| Vandenbz 10/31/11 . chapter 7
At least Christian agreed with Alicia about pursuing the Imperials though Welkin had a good point about the enemy commander. Seems like Christian's going to get a reputation among the Imperials as well as the Gallians. Good to see that Welkin appreciates how Nadine didn't have to shoot the scout because Christian did it himself. Have to applaud Christian, taking a burden like that upon himself as a good commander should rather than a subordinate. Nice of Claudia not to judge Christian based on rumors, instead talking to him directly and hearing his side of the story. He did it out of mercy, not cruelty despite what others think. Looks like Christian may have an assassination attempt on him from that Gallian soldier, it would certainly help his image (not that he really cares about it) if he foiled the attack yet spared the soldier.
Great chapter overall, couple questions though. In the beginning, I thought Vyse was in charge of Team 2. The text makes it sound like Welkin was in two different places at once, in the Edelweiss and with Team 2. After that Christian gives orders to Alex and Vyse despite Vyse being in charge of Team 2. Apart from that I didn't see any worth mentioning. Keep up the great work!
| Vandenbz 9/20/11 . chapter 6
Figures that Jane would be the first to approve of what Christian did, even if he didn't enjoy it the way she would. Christian's preference for tactics shows up again, mildly antagonizing his team yet proves it's worth in fighting off that ambush. Hate to think what might have happened if they followed Vyse and Aika with a group like that behind them. It was nice of Christian to take on the burden of shooting Ronald himself rather than have Nadine do it, she won't have to live with the guilt of shooting a fellow soldier even if it was for the right reasons. The fact that Christian saved Alex from that mine is bound to mean something when the news of what happened to Ronald is revealed to the rest of the squad. Looking forward to the end of the Kloden mission!
| Vandenbz 9/2/11 . chapter 5
I'm definitely enjoying this fic so far! Christian Raves is a great OC, his character coming to light rather well as the story goes on. Quiet like Marina, hates Imperials, enjoys having a strategy instead of rushing ahead recklessly. Also like his interactions with Claudia Mann, hopefully more will occur with them later. Again, good fic and I'm looking forward to the next update!
| Benny235 the Solid Wolf 8/19/11 . chapter 5
Yikes didn't see that ending coming, Christian still in a way a regular. Plz continue this seriously has potential.
| Benny235 the Solid Wolf 8/19/11 . chapter 4
Great chapter, but could be improve if you mention what kind of gun he's using like the MAGS M1, MAGS M10, or such.
| Benny235 the Solid Wolf 8/19/11 . chapter 3
LOL a strange way of making friends, but great start of being part of squad 7, still could do better if the chapter is longer.
| Benny235 the Solid Wolf 8/19/11 . chapter 2
LOL great chapter, I hope you keep up the good work!
| Benny235 the Solid Wolf 8/19/11 . chapter 1
Well this story presents potential on the prolouge, I gives this a 9.5/10, since it's not long.
| SPG inc 6/7/11 . chapter 4
Hey, don't stop. I'm enjoying this. Nice OC
| Mr Wang 330 3/11/10 . chapter 4
I suppose I owe you a review, don't I? Alright, you're not doing too bad. It's nothing spectacular, but this is pretty much on par with most of the other first stories here on Valkyria Chronicles. Descriptions are getting better in this chapter in contrast to your preceding three, and that's a start. I'll simply give the advice I give to most people regarding OCs and stories in general:
You're doing alright so far concerning an OC, but I'll just say that we might need more input on him, such as emotion, description, and delving into the mind of Christian. Make the reader actually care and give a damn about what happens to him. And resist the urge to make him that soldier everyone envys; the dreaded Sue character. But I think you're smart enough, you've got a decent start, and I'll try helping out in terms of this story succeeding. You seem to have already established your pairing, and nothing seems wrong, so long as you don't rush it and make x fall head over heels for y. On a side note, there's something I feel I need to discuss with you concerning that, though I'll save it for later and commence the review.
The story itself is still a bit bare, but we're progressing along. I remember you reviewing my story and saying it was hard to keep reading (I don't blame you) but up until chapter 10 my writing really improved, and I have no doubt you can do the same. If you need help, just take a look at some of the works of more experienced writers and see what you can learn from them. Flashpoint by DC20, Lone Wulf by Runty Grunty, and A Life Too Many by Huhn are some of the best to name a few.
I was a bit confused as to why you even inserted that last section in. You basically copied the scene from the game, and that wasn't really anything new. Had Christian been part of that scene, maybe it would have been tolerable, but that didn't do much to contribute. Every once in a while, it's alright to shift focus from your main character, so long as it moves the story along and has some sort of purpose. Unless if you unfold the scene from your character's point of view, it's pretty much useless.
Overall, I'll just repeat that it's not bad so far. You've got a good foundation to work off of, and I hope to see that this continues. If you've got any questions or anything, simply send a message. Until then...
| SovietSniper92 3/11/10 . chapter 4
Pretty good so far, but the last paragraph in chapter "3" was not needed. You should also try to expand Christian's importance to the militia, right now it just seems like he's another minor character but if you could make him to something important then it would be really seem more interesting
| Cloner4000 8/26/09 . chapter 2
Well, I see you've introduce some characters, some of them aren't really wrote about from other fanfics, so I'll definitely look forward to it.