Wow! this was really good! i hope you keep writing! Im a huge fan of assasins creed! PLEASE write MORE!

thanx!

Hey, just wanted to say that was an awesome fanfic- it didn't have the whole 'I can go anywhere and do anything I want when I go back in time 'cause I'm awesome'. At least I assumed the person went back in time ^_^ I wasn't sure if it was you or a character of yours. Anyway, I got a bit confused when you spoke of the gun, so you could just say it was Ezio, as he uses a gun and the whole bowing thing seemed to suit him more as well. Great fanfic, and I don't really agree with ChaosEmerald, I think this was very interesting.

[i]if he wanted to reach the factory out on the very border of our small village. Horseback can only bring you so fast[/i]

There are no factories in those times. I'm pretty sure of that.

No guns. Altair's weapon of choice are daggers and swords (I assume the stranger is Altair).

Well, well, soldier...

(Whistles) That was a weird review ya got, alright. LOL No offence to ChaosEmerald. You're cool.

Anyway!

I'm here to praise.

Now, I've only read 'bout...2 or 3 AC fics. EVAR. LMAO

I stopped reading 1 of'em, which was a Modern Female Self Insert fic. Y'know, real-life girl that plays AC and gets sucked into the game.

So, this, an in-time FSI should be a 1º for me.

So, anyways!

This was very interesting.

Jasmine is mighty fine! Very B-E-A-Utiful.

And I'm kinda confused...who is the assassin? Altaïr or Ezio? You could've described his clothes, 'cuz there's plenty of difference in Altaïr and Ezio's outfits. Personally, I think Ezio looks much more bad(a)ss. ROFLOL

And...a shuriken...? How would Jasmine know WHAT a shuriken is? That left me scratchin' my head.

And looks like she's sorta smitten with the assassin, eh? ROFLMAO That was LOLsy.

So, this thing looks promising. I believe I'll keep an eye on it.

Update ASAP! That's an order!

Semper-Fi! Carry on!

ChaosEmerald, I couldn't agree more

I really think you've got some work to do. You know to read some more quality fan fiction and see where certain ideas and character types are easily stereotyped and cliche. This sounds like another typical female insert, with an underlying girl power and anti-destiny cause. And I'm almost certain no one is going to call you out on it, everyone is going to tell you this is an original idea and its well written and I can't believe how good this scene is (and believe me, check their profiles and see how many "stories" they've written) without telling you just how lame this all sounds. There's going to be a lot of newbies and "nice guys" who will simply pat your head, I know this doesn't sound like it make sense, but I simply advise you read it again until it does.

Because with noncritical praise like the stuff you'll be getting for this unoriginal piece is going to elevate that you continue writing it. By all means, I'm not saying your writing is bad, from what I've seen you are a good speller and know how to revise. Personally, I just think the 1st Person in Fanfiction is lazy because nobody is going out of their way to make it all that flattering or interesting, but you're a decent writer. I think you just need to move out of the stale comfort zone a lot of these lame AC writers inhabit and defend like family: inserting a characterized version of yourself into a universe giving you dynamic control, writing a female into a situation that within canon they wouldn't be in, thankfully you've avoided romance, and of course, adding more detail and intriguing elements.

Well, I don't how close you'll take these. One hell of a strange first review, huh?

Its intriguing. I'm assuming its Ezio that saves her?

Update soon! :D