More, more! Please? Interesting storyline here, and tons of action.

Can't wait to see if Zoe gets back to Raol.LOVE IT!

The shifting points of view is a problem. If you write in first person, you're limiting yourself to one character's knowledge, perceptions and inisghts. If you want to be able to shift between Zoe's Raoul's, Elizabeth's and Ben's, you're best to sticking to 3rd person throughout. An alternative sometimes used in fanfics is to insert headings identifying the current character, thought I don't like it myself.

You're also mixing two POVs. Raoul's contemplating who to call, then Zoe comes in about something she knows nothing about.

It's not clear why Ben calls out "I don't care."

Raoul's description near the end of chapter: What are "quick wrists"!? Also the note about acne is irrelevant. It's also illogical: his face had a distant look where the acne had cleared, but perhaps a more interested look at the parts where he still had some acne!?

Sorry for the neg crits. The story is good otherwise, it just needs some more work.

Mystery builds up very nicely. It is replaced by concern in this chapter as we discover what's going on. Still, I found it tedious in parts, esp. the list of Zoe's companions.

Also, a Pokemon reading a newspaper isn't presented in a believable way (I'd have no trouble if it was Mewtwo, a Wynelle does a convincing job in "Me & My Flame"--worth a read).

"between Raoul and I" should be "...and me", since "me" is the object of a preposition.

There are different views about Pokemon levels in fanfics. Some authors prefer to have Pokemon gain experience and figure out new skills as a natural course of their growth and/or training rather than to model the game which is, after all, itself a mathematical model. Bear in mind thought that they are referred to in the anime, albeit not prominently.

Aiiee! That poor persian! But wouldn't that make a seven-pokemon team? Oiy. That's all I can say. Oiy.

lol, if only Ash would learn things. But the end must justify the means, rite? Anyway, I love your writing style. Keep up the great work! btw, I'm a bit confused.. Raoul sounds like he has the same problem as Ben, though not as severe? I don't know why I'm confused. Maybe I'm just weird. Well, onto Chapter five! ;)

Hey! That's way cool! I love how you set the seen with the flashback. Your writing stlye is excellent!

YAY!! WE SAVE-ED JAVELIN!!! *dances* ^.^ MUCH HAPPINESS!!

Lights: ...don't you even care that Ben was injured.

LS: OF COURSE I DO!! JEEZ, he got injured helping Joel! Poor Ben...that Dig attack must have hurt a whole lot... *winces*

Lights: Oh, so you care more about the stupid little Fearow than the noble trainer? Oh, yeah...

VolcanoKing: *glowers at Lights; FLAMETHROWER*

Lights: AIEEE! *races off with her tail on fire*

LS: YAY! *hugs the Growlithe* GOOD BOY! ^^ Anyway, just after the part where the battle ends, you accidentally put a paragraph in twice in two different places. It's the part where Zoe's getting Joel off the battlefield and Ben tosses them both a berry. You might want to omit one of those. ^^ Anyway, I LOVE THIS FIC! ^^ WRITE MORE SOON!!!

Excellent story, Morbaine! Your talent for writing is second to none, in my opinion. Keep up the excellent work.

I love reading battle scenes, and I especially enjoyed the Ben-Rockets battle. I always did wonder how a trainer would get an item to a Pokémon during battle, I thought they'd throw the item. (although what would happen if they missed and the other Pokémon nabbed the item, I never thought of.) The Persian they dropped was a shocker - never saw that one coming. Nice little reunion you pulled too. =) Good job!

Nice to see this is updated. It seems like Ben is even less responsible then I thought before. It's one thing to release pokemon, but now it seems he's so rigid that once released, he won't lift a finger, whatever the problem and even against his better judgement.

Raoul doesn't keep his pokemon either, yet he doesn't abandon them to their own devices. While they both train pokemon just to help the pokemon grow stronger, Raoul makes sure his pokemon will be well cared for after he leaves them. Ben, on the other hand, teaches them to swim and then shoves them into the ocean, storm or no. Very interesting.

After reading this after a really long time, I still think this is great. I think Raoul is a really interesting character, what with his tendency to give away Pokémon and all, and I'm also a big Javelin fan. Please let Jav pop up again sometime? *puppy eyes*

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!

Elizabeth's nice...and I like Psilence!! Creative name, if you ask me. ^^ I've got a Quilava named FireCurtin in my Crystal version, and that's about as creative as it'll get with me. ^^;; Yeah. I need to wok harder...but I think Raoul likes her. And I think she likes him back. ^^ Aww, a little blossoming romance...

BUT BACK TO ZOE!! NOOO!! DON'T LET THE PRETTY FEAROW GET CAPTURED!! Even if she IS really cold to Zoe, I LIKE FEAROWS!! They're cool!! And Drill Peck rocks. ^^

SAVE DA FEAROW!!!!

Pwease?

A little too plotty, with some badly developed angst. I don't think I'll read any further.

Brillz. Great perspective on "Zoe was here", and I loved the reminscing (sp?) on Zoe's old team. Keep going!