Nice story...i like it it is very good, i took what you said into consiteration and i agree. so i am trying agin this time theres more relaition to wolves rain, still Toboe and my OC but more grammer and she has character thank you for your advice :)

-Sasukeloves

Haha very cute! I loved it. Your writing is awesome and well though-out.
I liked this whole paragraph especially:
"He didn’t wear the sling holster in the good dreams of Kyrios, but it was getting harder to turn this dream from the path of nightmares."
Great stuff. I'd much rather read a good canon-friendly one-shot like this than all the sloppily written Mary Sue she-wolf stories taking over the Wolf's Rain section nowadays.

So kudos to you, my friend ~

loved it. nuff said