Oh wow, what a great chapter! Again, I love the idea of Subaru, Seishirou and the rest as bats. The description of Subaru as a bat is too cute for words :) I like the similarties between this fic and Tokyo Babylon, but yet you gave it your own twist and flavors. I love this fic!

Woah! I'm glad I checked your profile! A little birdy told me it might be a good idea.

I went back and reread the previous Part with Sei to help console myself during the wait. XD Am I rubbing off on you or are your metaphors just getting better and better? Because not only did I have to make almost no corrections so far (maybe it's a fluke?), but the descriptions are definitely becoming more intriguing!

"His fur was as white as a spider’s egg sac and bunched thickly around him like that of a dandelion spore." (trying to imagine Kakyou as a sheep-bat was priceless! :rofl: And this image is as lovably strange as your story, riding that fine line between odd without being ugly!)

"...in a voice that reminded Subaru of silken strands of a spider’s web rasping over a tree’s bark." (I LOVE this description! Such an intriguing sound!)

"Now the slithering, squeamish feeling had been replaced with another—as if an icy cold claw had wrapped itself around his gut and was squeezing mercilessly."

The way you're describing emotions is great! I realize you're not saying what they are because Subaru doesn't know what they are, but this... this is just how emotions should be described all the time, with this level of imagery! This is a lot better than just telling what the emotion is!

The irony of Sei recognizing Subaru's emotion before he did struck me as odd at first, but I liked it, and you fixed it anyway when he said he'd "heard" of the emotion. And... I don't mind Subaru being jealous strangely. I too have seen authors go into Subaru feeling upset over Hokuto and Sei, and I can understand their flinching away from writing a jealous Subaru.

I liked the new pages, even with all the Hokuto... XD Of course, it's those little Sei/Su lines that capture my attention and I end up liking best, rereading again and again ...

"It was the sight of Subaru enswathed tightly within the other’s massive wings, eyes closed and seemingly lifeless."

Hm, I don't think I have anything against your ending. I think it's sad poor Obaa-chan is never going to know what happened to her grandchildren! T_T But I don't really care about her, so that wasn't a big deal. I was totally happy that Subaru was going to stay with Seishirou! Though I wouldn't have minded seeing a little epilogue of how things are going to work out after. Is Subaru going to stay in Seishirou's cave?! Is he?! *pounces on you* Will Seishirou let Subaru come with him outside, or will he keep him locked away in his cave forever and bring him food?! Will Subaru wait for him in that cold, damp place to return every night? Will they sleep wrapped in each other's wings, or will Subaru sleep all cold and alone?!

*gets carried away* And then will a Kamui bat fly in one night while Seishirou's away, fleeing an evil Fuuma bat, causing Subaru to have to flee with him so that Seishirou returns to an empty cave? *cackles*

Ah-hem. Okay, maybe that should be part of the third installment... (Schnick: THIRD INSTALLMENT?!)

New:

So yes, I can't wait for Kamui and Fuuma to show up, because those two always cause Subaru and Seishirou trouble! Is there going to be a bat war for the end of bat world? Will they have bat-powers?! XD I can't wait to find out!

Very cute! I love!

Hello!^^

...It's awesome. That's all I have to say... oO So, so original, and insanely cute. I love it!^^

Courage for the other parts of the story, and thank you for the wonderful read!...

Bravo...^^


Maeve (a stray French reader xD)

Wonderful! I always enjoy your stories and this one was just too cute for words! the bat idea brought back memories of that book you mentioned reading...and bat!Subaru made me want to pinch his cheeks! ^^ Too bad about the evil bat!Seishirou, though... just like the manga...

I can honestly say I never read a Tokyo Babylon story like this before. Very original! The image of Subaru and Seishirou as bats is adorable and I think your fic is so cute and clever!

When I first read the title of this story when I got the author alert I burst into hysterics because my grandma's chihuahua's nickname is fruit bat. Anyways about the story it is adorable, I absolutely loved it! ^^ Also I think it is perfectly normal to go bat-crazy after reading Silverwing. I think most people did.

Also I am definitely favoriting this.

*amused* This is cute... not laugh-out-loud, rolling-on-the-floor funny, but definitely cute... ^_^ I thought you did a pretty good job on the dialogue. It seemed to me to flow pretty nicely and wasn't cliche. (Trust me, I watched carefully) I almost thought it was going to be a bit cliche when you started the "Do you know why he's called the traitorous, blood-thirsty assassin bat?!" (sorry, my brain keeps adding 'bat' there), but then you saved it by not going into why the sakura are pink. XD (how that's linked, I have no idea) I didn't have any problems with their character either. I found Subaru quite adorable, and while I'm used to a more handsome Seishirou, I don't mind him how he is either. *grin*

Oh, I wanted to say from the last email that I like that this is different--that you weren't able to use sakura blossoms and everything--because I feel that this is more unique for it. More interesting. I was rather pleased with the ending too... something I had wondered and worried about. They will meet again! :cute: There were also some nice use of metaphors... "After all, one does not eat a plum until it is ripe for the plucking..." *grins crazily* I feel like Seishirou remained true to character, and that his excuse for letting Subaru go was perfect in context. Drinking blood to understand emotions... I've read vampire books where vampires can see the images of a person's life when drinking they're blood, so this made sense to me, and therefore letting him go to further these experiences seemed plausible (because we all knew Seishirou had to let him go! :O ). It's funny... under normal circumstances I might have found that a weak excuse, but something about how you set it up or wrote it made me think it turned out just fine. ^_^ (Is that the sign of a good author?) I love your depiction of them all sweet and cute in each other's wings! Aw! *pleased*